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I still love him so much and I guess I always will.
I loved him ever since. We were great then. We shared almost everything. He tells me he loves me, and yes, I believed every word that he said because they sounded so true. Everything for me was almost perfect. I felt very happy with him. And I thought he was with me. But I guess I was wrong because one day, his true colors showed up. He wasnít the guy I thought he really was. But still I love him so much. Everyday he would accuse me of things I never did. He would tell me words I wish I never heard. Everyday he finds a lame excuse to start up an argument and he always gives me reasons to cry. He was not like that. I mean, he never did that to me before. But now he does, I donít know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment. But you know what hurts the most? Itís when he tells me Iím no good, that he likes another girl and that girl is far better than me, that I can never, ever take her place. Ouch! Damn, it hurts me a lot. I certainly broke my heart to the max. He wants me to be that girl; he wants me to imitate her. But I think it was another way of saying itís she that he really loves and not me. Whatís the point of our relationship if she wants another one? How I wish I can be her but Iím not and Iíll never be. We are so different in many ways. I can never be the angel that he wants me to be. Iím just simply me. I canít pretend and hide that Iím not affected because he sees in my eyes that I am. But I guess heís happy hurting me. Heís happy every time he sees a tear drop fall from my eyes. And yes, there are still a lot of things that he tells me. He regrets where and what we are right now, that Iím simply a bitch. That he doesnít feel my love for him. He thinks those donít hurt?! Why is he too blind to see that Iím suffering? So blind to see that Iím struggling inside? Why is he doing all these to me? Why canít he appreciate Iíve done for him? I did almost everything to please and satisfy him, but why is he not contented? Where did I go wrong, what did I miss? Damn! There are a lot of questions in my head; I canít even find an answer. I know Iím not perfect but still I tried to be the best only for him. We used to be great, but something just went wrong. I want to put an end between us but I guess I just canít. You know why? Because after all the heartaches and pains he gave me, nothing changed. I still love him so much and I guess I always will.
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