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He has an amazing smile and this accent that I just love.
Well this happened awhile ago... I was good friends with this guy, not like best friends but we had a good friendship. At first all we do is sometimes talk and chat on msn. We would talk about funny things that would sometimes make me laugh. Well, then later on we started playing around. It started one day in prep when we had a free period to do whatever and it was on a Friday. I didnt want to do my homework since it was last class of the day and it was a Friday, so I just sat with my friends and spoke about stuff. He was there, too. He started pushing me off my sit and then I started poking him. Thats when everything started. Everyday we would mess around just poking each other in the stomach and try to get back everytime whoever got the other. It was fun. He started grabbing my hands to try to not allow me to escape so he can get me. He would tell me he'd get me tomorrow at school whenever we were chatting online. He also use to tease me about squeeling like a pig when he poked me. Id always deny it though. Everday I would look forward to seeing him. The thought of him made me smile and I couldnt wait to see him at school. He liked me, everyone knew that, but not me. I was the last to know. I had feelings for him, too, but I didnt believe he would ever like me, so I just liked the things the way they were. On the night of the semi-formal he sent me a message saying that he liked me, but I didnt reply to it because I went to this party after the semi. The next day I told him that I didnt like him more then a friend since I didnt think we were right for each other. When I said that he quickly went offline and the next day at school he ignored me... I felt so sad. My friends didnt know why but later my best friend spoke to me about it. Things were okay then but after I spoke to her Kyle asked me why I was sad and I didnt want to tell him but he knew and I also knew why he was ignoring me. At the end of the day things seem to get back to the way they were and I was happy again. We spoke on msn about why we acted the way we did that night and well I wanted to tell him I was scared about going into a relationship because I never been in one, but I was too embarrassed to tell him. The next day things were as normal but the funny thing was he pinched me so hard on the arm a few days before the semi that he left a bruise, but the funny thing was that it was in a shape of a heart. Kyle had a best friend and I knew she liked him very much and that Kyle had broken her heart so many times. I didnt want things to change really because if Kyle and I went out she probably would hate me and thier friendship would crumble. At first I kept telling her that I didnt like him but then I wanted to be honest to her but then when I told her she completely turned on me and she stopped speaking to Kyle and me. Kyle got pissed at me and he ignored me completely because I told. One night when we were chatting about it and when he got soo pissed at me I lost it. I cried so hard that night that I cut myself over and over again. It wasnt deep but I did bleed.(It was a pretty stupid thing to do now that I look back at it all) The next day I didnt go to school because I just couldnt take it. Kyle's best friend loves him very much but she doesnt own him, but I guess she might feel like she's losing him if we did went out. I understood that later on when I had the feeling that I had lost my best friend to someone.The day I went back to school I patched things up with Kyle's best friend and got them back together as friends.
Nothing went back to the way it was again and as my heart shaped bruise Kyle made faded so did his feelings for me... At least Kyle and his best friend are alright now...
He had a plan but I never got to know what it was because I told his best friend about me and him having feelings for each other. I sort of regret telling his best friend but then again if I hadnt told I would have been lying to her, but this is no fair!! Kyle and I hardly talk anymore and well, hes cahnged alot. He seems more mature and serious about his work and everything. I think about the fun times we had and the conversations we had online as well as texting and the dance... He was the first guy I danced with to a slow song and that was the same night he told me he liked me... It hurts thinking about all of this, all the good things that happened... they're all memories now. He's handsome, sweet and funny. He has an amazing smile and this accent that I just love.
I really liked him and I miss talking to him as well as seeing him smile. I miss everything about him... It's no fair!! She still gets to be his close friend while I dont get to keep that friendship we once had. I screwed up big time. I think if I hadnt told I would have felt guilty but then again she wouldnt have felt so sad and I would probably still be good friends with Kyle.
I dont know if you'd ever read this but...
I miss you Kyle and I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong.
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