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When you're 60, who will be there?
The sad thing is...
I am engaged with someone else. I love him, I do, but I am not in love with him. The only reason why I am settling is to avoid the true and unexpected feelings of "you."
Never in this lifetime, have I thought I would encounter or
feel the way I did with you. You still make my stomach turn...
You know NOONE is perfect, no in this world, not even you.
I made mistakes, but they weren't unforgiveable, they just
stemmed from fear and stupidity. But, I'm sure some time or another, even you, had encountered such things and even you didn't handle the outcome as you shoud have.
Both you and I felt something, and it's sad that it's me who is trying to move on to forget all about you. It's sad that you are not forgiving and understanding as I thought you were. But that's fine, because in a sense it is making think
maybe I thought too much of you.
In a way, it's sad the way things happened when you and I both know they shouldn't and the way neither of us wanted it to happen.
I'm marrying someone, but, I'm satisfied, and you'll search and search and you'll never be content and you will always wonder about me, no matter how happy you think you are.
I won't contact you upon your request. You know where I am. Don't let your arrogance go too far; because it'll be you who loses in the end. I adore you. You know it. But you adore me to. You know I am not fake, you know more about me that I want you to know.
If you let this go; then I'll finally come to realize that you were just an illusion I was hoping to come true. One day, everything I thought I felt and hoped will eventually fade. Or will it?
You have no idea; but in a sense you do, and in the same sense you want it to.
You know by now, it's not all about the things you've done or what you own. You know deep down inside. You know it! You are so successful, you should be proud. You are very successful, and your accomplishments... just blow me away... You have no clue no what I know, but it never had any affect towards the way I feel about you. It was only "YOU," who made me feel the way I do\ about you.
If that one SPECIAL person isn't around, then what does everything else mean? Apparently, nothing. I'm not stupid, nor desperate. I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't know by your responses you were reading these. I know you are curious, I know you care.
I made a mistake. Never did I know I would learn from my actions. I was not hurtful in an "unintentional way." I wasguarded, because Mr. Right appeared from nowhere. But, who are you do "judge me?" You have no idea what I'm all about. So, to feel, yet judge, is something that is coming from your profession and not a real person. Noone else seems to care, but you never took the time to find out. It was all about "image."
I can't keep telling you.
You know it. If you didn't, you wouldn't be on this site wondering. I know you're mad at me, you hate me, but you'll
hate me more knowing that you didn't give it your all, yet you want it, or you wouldn't be looking on this site site----.
This summer, I am getting married. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'll be okay. It's Mr. Perfect who senses something and is acting towards a different direction. It's me, who feels that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach and at the same time knowing you were Mr. Right. So, if I get married, it'll be another mistake but at least the fear of giving it all, won't be present. So, I'll take my chances and be like every other in this world.
I won't say anymore. If you this to evaporate forever; then it will and apparently no matter what I do, it won't change.
But, I have to tell you; I think I fell in love with you. How do I know? Because to this day, there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you. If in the short time I knew you, that came about; I can tell you that is rare and extremely unimaginable, unheard of, never doable, etc.,.
I would do anything for anyone I encounter, but when I do those things and I feel something; that is the difference. The difference that tells me;....
So, let this go. Let me go. But, I can tell you; no matter
what; you'll always wonder if you're actions were correct or not. If you weren't curious; to this day; there would be no other reason to be on this site except for me. You know it. Which tells me you still care. You felt it and so did I. Are we both this stupid to let this time pass and continue this nonsense? Or shall we talk and forgive and forget and try again?
No matter what you are "One in a Million," and no matter what the outcome is; that will never change; regardless if I show it or not. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and if you're "too big," to acknowledge it, then that
MY LOVE, is your loss. But the total truth is; This time will go very quickly, but noone can take away what I feel...
When you're 60, who will be there?
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