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I GUESS GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US
MY HEART BURNS IN DEEP PAIN.
A year ago i met beautiful girl over the internet i was in Canada she was in France..When i seen her picture i knew right that moment that i wanna spend the rest of my life with her and she had the same reaction same feeling i had. My life was finaly opening to a great life because before that i was always lonely i was a lonely heart so words cant describe how happy i was.
Over the year she was telling me how much she loves and how good i look that she would die for me and i had exactly the same feeling about her, i told her Baby just hold on i will come soon i just need to make the money and i will come i will never let you go..and even tho i was so far away from her my days were beautiful because i knew that someone so beautiful with a great heart is waiting for me thousand of miles away thinking about me..i was just so happy until the day camed when i just couldnt take it anymore and i bought a plane ticket and i flew all the way to France..When i seen her at the airport i was speachless she was too, i had tears in my heart when i held her in my arms( i ll never forget that moment). I thought i would be happy for the rest ofmy life but thats when things really started to go BAD...Her family didnt want her parents, her father was screaming at me they just didnt want me they were tellin to go back home...and words cant even describe how broken i was. So i packed my clothes and went to a hotel and they didnt wanna let her with me so i said i need her to come with me i dont speak french i m gonna get lost and they were so selfish that still they said no but she left anyways..Stella was still virgin at 20 she was keeping it for me until i come and i was very happy about that, so when we were at the Hotel i just needed to make love to her cuz i was so shocked that her family are so bad to me. Later that night she left home i stayd alone at the hotel...i was just so broken, the next 2 dayz she called me back home to her house and i thought that things are gonna get better this time...it didnt, Her fathers goal was to dig inside of me until i leave until he threw me out of the house like a dog so i had to leave i couldnt go to a hotel anymore cuz i was running out of money..So That day i took her to a restaurant and i propose to her i asked her to MARRY ME,i told her baby as i sit now here in front of ur eyes your eyes are going to be last eyes i ever looked inside of another girls eyes with Such love and passion i want you to be my wife i love you with all my heart thats why i travelled thousands of miles and i know that i am only 18 but ur the woman i wanna be with i dont care what comes next at this moment your my love WILL YOU MARRY ME STELLA...And she said ofcourse i will i love youuu...and i put the ring on her ..Than she told me that shes pregnant she showd me the x rays of our baby and i was SPEACHLESS. We wanted to get married there cuz of the papers so shes my wife we wanted to get married fast but the State of France said no they told us we dont have enough papers, so we were crushed. the next day i was leaving back to Canada Toronto back home..she walked me to the Train station ..She started crying 8 min before my train was leaving i was holding her so tight i didnt wanna let go for another 1000 years i told her baby dont put our baby away dont a abbortion i will come back i promise i will come back soon in couple of months just dont put it away because thats our only way to stay togheter even tho im far away its our ROPE no one can take it away from u...she said she wont put it away and thats when i KISSED her for the last time and i stepd into the train..and i was crying like a little child i was totally completly broken.
The next day she calls my house and tells me that she doesnt have the baby anymore that her mother draggd her to do a abbortion i told her how can u let that happen? how can u do this to us to me..
She told me that shes heartbroken but she knows that she will have another 5 babies with me..i didnt know what to say i was shocked but than i said ok just wait hold on i will come she told me that she wants to run away with me and i told her thats the only way because i never want to see your family they hurt me too much, she said ofcourse i will leave with u run away with u...........Evere since that day things went down the hill, the next month i turned 19 and i wad dieng inside of me because she aint with me she aint there to holdme comfort me, the next day after my birthday she called me and telling me that she loves me and she wants to be with me, i told her hmmm we couldov been together now but your family split us a apart and u let it happen u didnt do nothin to control them..she had no words to say to me and than the phone card ended,
The next month christmas camed and i was still heartbroken that shes not with me , everybody around me was enjoying them selfs having the christmas spirit going on and i was just in pain, pain, pain...Than i get this messege that shes dancing , having fun with her family enjoying her self and i was even more crushed because i didnt even enjoy my self and new years the samething my heart wouldnt allow it to be enjoying my self and the thing that hurt the most is she was partying . And today her cousin send it me her pics from new years and i seen that she doesnt have the ring on her finger anymore....i guess she threw it away i dont know...what ever.
So today i sit beside this pc writing a letter to you people and hoping that u will understand, i just needed to express my self about what i feel, And im still supposd to go after her in 2 months cuz thats what i said that i will come in 2 months and she said yeah come but i dont really know any more you know what im sayin people? Im Dissapointed in her.. I sit here with deep pain in my heart and i dont know wether to laugh or cry i dont know wether to live or die because it really cuts like a knife
But ill end this letter like this " I GUESS GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US MAYBE ME AND STELLA WAS NEVER MENT TO BE BUT ALL I KNOW THAT I DID MY BEST TO LOVE HER AND GOD SAW THAT AND IM GLAD ABOUT THAT"
God bless you all, that is my prayer.
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