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I'll spend the rest of my life loving him and we will never know what might have been

I was in college, he was my lecturer. The first time I saw him he didnt strike me as anything more than another, boring Professor. I had a project to do for his class, I went to ask him a question, something about the way he laughed and smiled at me sparked something in me. Over the next few weeks we spent more time together working on class stuff, I fell hard for him.

I would call by his office, we would talk, I would ask his advice. We became good friends and met everyday, emailed or called each other for another few hours. each day. We went out for dinner, lunch, drinks together. There were times the way he looked at me would make me melt. I didnt care that he was a lot older than me, I knew I wanted him, I loved him. Still nothing happened and I was afraid to make a move in case I had made a mistake.

One night he told me I was one of the most amazing women he had ever met. The way we looked at each other after that I knew it had to happen, we leaned closer and then some stupid friend of his arrived out of nowhere and the moment passed. I moved away and we managed to fall out.

We still talk, in fact I have just emailed him, but its not the same as it used to be. Things are subtley more formal between us. Yet I think about him constantly, he is honestly my first thought in the morning and my last at night. I have one photo of him that I spend hours staring at. I cry myself to sleep because I miss him so much. I know I'll spend the rest of my life loving him and we will never know what might have been.


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