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he's still there... somewhere....

The day i met him it caught me by suprise... he only came to my house because his brother found his way into my garage were i was hanging out with my bff. he sat down and kept smiling at me... i thought he was cute, but i didnt know him that well... so it was kinda awkqard.... then i went skating and every time i stopped to look at a house or a car he would stop too, to start some small talk (god i wish we could go back to thoses days where he wasnt always yelling at me...) after a while i got his number from his gf... but a week later they broke it off... and i got a bf.... so when he was trying to get me i was paying all my attention to my bf... and just treated him as a friend.... then one night....he told me he loved me.... i was so shocked that i just dropped down in front of the fridge (i was getting drinks out of the fridge at the time). he told me he had been putting it off to tell me to avoid making problems and to avoid hurting his feeling by my reaction....(alot good i had done, right?) it took me 2 months to break- up with my bf to get with jesse, but during that time.... he treated me so well, and i felt so wanted and loved and yet so guilty for what i had been doing to my boyfriend and to jesse...(thats his name) but then the morning i had broken up with my bf i had been watching mtv and this song came on... ima stick wit you forever.... nobody gonna take me higher , treat me better ima stick wit you forever... and all i could think about was jesse... thats the only thing that brought me through all of that day.... a week later jesse asked me out... now... almost a year later.... a million tears spilt from my eyes later.... thousands of words not ment but were still said virginity later.... i think after all i did for him after all i put up with cuz of him....he says our relation ship isnt working out.... i cried 3 times today because of him.. once yesterday, and atleast 3 other times this week... there has not been a full week since i have gone out with him that i had not cried.... yet aside from all the yelling and tears and irony i have gone through i am still so in love with him.... nomatter how much i cry and how much i am hurting inside i dont think i will ever stop loving 13 (yes 13!) and no matter how much adults tell me that i am too young to know what love is, i know what i feel for him is love, and i know its forever, even if it means an eternity of tears and pain..... because the boy i fell in love with is in him... and sometimes i find him.... it just takes a while... and i love him, just to be in his arms feels so good.... just to hear his name makes me smile, even when we are in a fight....all of our memories good and bad make me cry, weather it is tears of joy or pain... one day...the boy who i promised myself to will come back for good... even though he isnt here right now...i'll wait for him, even if i have to wait forever... i wouldnt ever give him up for anything ... because i love him that much....

he's still there... somewhere....


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