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he has made me feel worthless and very alone

Im young. We met when we were 15. We were together constantly although had our problems etc. We were very close, i cant explain it. We broke up in our second summer together and got back together at the end of it. When together we would go out and he would cheat on me infront of me. It made me sad but we got through it and he stopped. That was last year. This february we went to cornwall together, it was amazing and we both realised we were in love. But,one night in march i rang him as i didnt feel well enough to go to a party, he got mad saying i was boring etc. I said ok i would go then and he hung up. i was waiting for him to come and get me and he never came. I thought maybe he had gone in to town as he was cross so i went in to apologise and he came out and told me he hated me etc etc and that he didnt care about me and was using me and then left me in tears. The next weekend i went to his to get my stuff and swop back phones and when walking home there were messages from a girl hed got with. i was devastated. In April he apologised about what he had done and i truly thought he meant it, but we both agreed it was too soon to try again. Then in May he got with my friend which hurt. I understand he goes out and gets drunk and gets with loads of girls, i forever hear about it. He speaks to me every so often and today he did and I was honest with him, made it clear he had hurt me a lot. All he was worried about was whether I had called some girl ugly and didn't care how i felt. He apologised but he doesnt mean it. I don't know what to do. I feel very lonely and confused to how he could treat someone how he has and not feel guilt, still be able to go out and get drunk and get with other girls knowing what he has done to me...2 years is a long time to be with someone i know and we needed to break up, but not the way he handled it, he has made me feel worthless and very alone. and what makes it even worse is that he knows he has and i dont understand why he doesnt care at all when we were so close.






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