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But then I noticed him. The smart, shy guy who sat beside me on Math 3
I was this tough, smart girl. Everything under control. Since I started dating at 16, I always protected myself from being hurt. And I was also a fabulous player... you know the game. I never called, I was flirty but not too much, annoying them just a little by wittly outsmarting them, I always kept the mistery, always kept them wanting more... Oh yes, it worked perfectly, at least until I was 20.
But then I noticed him. The smart, shy guy who sat beside me on Math 3. He helped me out once and then we occasionally chatted and he made me laugh so hard. I wanted him badly. I pulled out every seduction trick I knew (That is... without letting him know at all that I liked him, wasn't my style..) So there I was wearing high-heels, skirts and different hairstyles to math 3. So all the class noticed I was up to something... LOL It was a small group and half the male population had already tried to ask me out. But nothing from smart guy. He was just as nice and funny as he had always been.
So I did something so untipical from me. I spread the rumor that I liked him.
So next week he was being unnormally nice and gentleman. And not without having a hard time, he asked me out. Finally. (4 months since I started liking him had passed)
So everything was so great. We found out we had so much in common, we talked for hours and hours about everything, he was a nerd, a jockey and a hunk. I admired him so much. He trated me like a princess. He was perfect in every way. He respected me, listened to me, was patient, romantic, faithful and honest.
And he taught me what a love relationship was about.
He had just 3 rules:
1. Always say to each other everything and the truth. EVERYTHING. (What we thought, what we felt like, what we didnt like, our past, our dreams...)
2. Never speak to one another in a bad manner or say ugly things.
3. Never leave without having solved an argument. Stay there and talk it out until everything is fine again.
(the 3rd part was the hardest!)
Everything went smooth...
But then I started noticing something awkward. I wasn't playing games! I hadn't realized it... I always called him when I felt like. I didn't pretend to be busy or tried to be interesting. I wasn't always thinking ahead of the game. And neither was he. We didn't try to make each other jealous. Or waited until the other spoke first after we argued. It really freaked me out at first, nothing was under my control anymore.
Its been like this for more than 2 years.
My head is saying I am so vulnerable now, its dumb to give yourself to someone like this.
But my heart just feels so safe and loved.
I am so happy.
It is ok to protect yourself from everyguy at first. But once you really like someone... You dont know love until you put aside all the games and strategies and logic and just be dumb and give out completely.
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