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It was like living in secrecy. And I loved it.
Oh well... This is a long story...
About a month ago I was a proud bachelor. I had a lot of girls for friends, but I never got into a relationship. The only times I would ever be seen with a girl wrapped around my arms would be at parties. With a lot of alcohol. Heck, a long term relationship for me would be about 6 or 7 hours. Tops.
But a month ago, I was invited to a party over at Jake's place. I've been his best friend for around 10 years, since kindergarten. I call him my brother. Anyway, he had hooked up with this nice girl, Carina, and she was joining. And brought her friend. This was the first time I saw her. And I couldn't believe that Jake had gotten this lucky. She was gorgeus.
Well, the night went well for me. I made contact with Carinas friend, and, well... I escorted her to the boom boom room. The Boom Boom Room is a room we made for parties, because we became sick of couples spending hours at restrooms when some of us really had to pee.
The Boom Boom Room is a small room, only decorated with a mattress, sheets, unlit candles, matches, a CD player, two CD's filled with love songs, and a key to the door. You do the math. Spent an hour in there with Carina's friend, so my night wasn't that bad.
Meanwhile, things weren't going too well with Jake and Carina. They had gotten into this giant fight, and it ended up with Jake threatening to beat Carina up. Scotch does that to people. So Carina stormed out, and Jake started crying. And punched me.
The next day, the four of us spent the day cleaning Jake's place. Me, Jake, Carina and her friend. Jake and Carina had made up, agreeing that it was the scotch talking the other night. Me and Carina's friend had this odd tension going on, so I knew that we wouldn't work out. Whole thing was awkward.
We hung out at Jake's until nightfall. The whole thing was weird. Jake and Carina didn't talk at all, which was understandable. But for some reason , Jake wouldn't talk to me either. He always shared his problems with me. But not this time.
Around 3 a.m., I'm starting to go home. And Carina says she's going out too. The next thing I see of Jake is this sad, suspicious look of his before he says goodbye.
So I walk Carina home. She lives right next to me. And just before she goes in, she asks me if I want to go in and watch a movie with her. At 3:30 a.m. I was stupid and said "sure, whatever". Halfway into the movie, we start talking about last night. I asked her about what the fight with Jake was about, and all of a sudden she changes.
Turns out that Carina had a crush on me. And told Jake. Well, that explains why he punched me. And kind of explains why she invited me in. At that moment, I forgot all about Jake. I forgot all about having sex with Carina's friend. All I could see was this beautiful girl front of me. So I kissed her. I spent the night in her bed, hugging her in my sleep. We didn't do anything though. Just fell asleep together.
The next day was the best and worst in my life. "Jake" invited me down again, but the entire time I was there, we couldn't talk. I kept secrets away from him all of a sudden. And I knew he was pissed at me. And at this point of my life, I had fallen in love for the first time. "Carina" was there too. And we would give secret messages to each other. The whole thing was exciting. It was like living in secrecy. And I loved it.
That night went like the one before. We watched a movie at her place. Forgot all about it halfway through, and made out all night. But the following morning was unforgettable. Her parents went off to work, and there was only me and her in the house. We hadn't slept all night, and was almost too tired to stand up. But we started chasing each other around the house that morning, tickling each other when we caught ourselves. And almost by accident, we ended up falling down on her parents bed.
Tickling turned boring for a few moments there. Now we were two people that hadn't slept all night, but were desperate to show our love for one another.
The next two weeks went like that. We'd have eye contact in public when no one were looking. Give secret messages to each other when our friends were there. And the nights... I had forgotten all about Jake's feelings. We never talked. I wanted to talk to him for sure, say sorry and all that. But every night kept getting better and better.
But it didn't last. One day, I walked by Jake's place and saw Carina looking out the window with this "I'm sorry" look, shaking her head. I knew what had happened.
Turns out that she wanted to change her life. That she didn't feel like going from one guy to another. That she had gotten back together with Jake. Settling down. All I ever was, was an affair.
So it became official that I had my affairs with Carina. All of my friends started hating me, because I had jeopardized my best friendship, and was an idiot for that. Carina's friend found out too, and turns out she had fallen in love with me that night at the party, so she told the rest of the town what an idiot I was. She hated me big time.
So here I am now. With an entire High School that hates me. I never get invited to parties, because apparently I "shag everything with a pulse". I never talk to Jake anymore. My best friend ever. My brother. And worst of all, I have to watch him kiss her. I have to watch her pretending that we never had anything together. Watch her ignoring me.
I've said no to dates since then. Said no to gorgeus girls. Because I can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop thinking about the time we had.
The way that she would brush my hair when I had my head on her lap. When I would hold her hands when she was freezing. When I would watch her sleep. When she apologized with a kiss. All that Hollywood bullshit I thought only existed in movies and 11-year old girls imaginations. I found it.
And just threw it away.
Wow, I've been writing this thing for an hour... I've got too much free time.
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