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I'm still in love...with my ex-girlfriend. ...And I'm married

I'm still in love...with my ex-girlfriend. ...And I'm married. But this isn't just the most recent "ex" right before I met my wife. This is an ex from years ago. I've never fallen out of love, I never got over her. And it was my fault that we broke up in the first palce. -I'm a cheater. Yes, I cheated on her with 2 other girls. (Technically 3, it's a long story.)
We kept in touch, the ex and I, for about 2 years afterwards but then we just stopped talking or emailing. But I have always been in love with her. I think about her all the time. I stare at her pictures that I've kept all this time. It's been about 5 years since we broke up. It's been about 2-3 years since we've even spoken. She really was incredible, the best you can imagine! And I'm not just talking about sex, but that too! We used to have all these romantic talks. And we would go walking in the mountains at night and just hold eachother and stare into eachothers' eyes. We had really good times. She gave up alomst everything for me, but that's a whole different story in and of it's self.
But I've been married for over a year now, and I feel really awful about this all. I really can't get over her, I've tried everything!


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