Long Distance and Internet:
Why is everyone so negative?
Internet is internet, you never know who you might be talking to. Yes there are people out there that pretend to be someone else .. so don't ever start an internet relationship until you are sure you know them. But people who actually get into a relationship, without clearly seeing there's something 'fishy' about that other person .. is incredibly dumb.
Excuse me for saying so.
Some people can't see the difference between real internet relationships, and fake ones.
But yes, you won't know what an internet relationship is, until you are truely in one. I have seen people having internet relationships .. were they both didn't know each other that well. They talked stiff, chat language, talked without sounding like themselfs. It was all .. just a big laugh. For fun you could say.
But what is 'fun' for one, is 'serious' for someone else.
You need to see the line between fun and serious. With fun, it's easy to recognize. You meet someone, you talk about various things that interest you, and the more your views are the same, the more you will like that person.
And that's were it starts. A friendship. On the internet, you can't date someone. Unless you're one of those people that look on a dating site, which is absolutely pathetic. But whatever floats your boat!
You start out as strangers.
You get to know each other.
And poof, you're friends!
This is what I like to call the 'casual friend'. The friend whom you have no desire to talk to everyday. But, in one way or another, you will talk to each other more and more. It's still for fun.
It's when you talk to each other every day for more than 3 hours that you become a friend. Remember, you're still in the 'fun' zone.
Then how do you become a 'real' friend? It's easy, you will notice you start to miss that person when they're offline. You'll wait for them, and they'll wait for you. It's when problems between the two of you start to arise that you both deal with, it's then when you can call yourself a true friend.
Now, we have crossed the line of the 'fun' part. Any 'romantic moves' that were made in the 'fun' part, will always stay 'fun'. It won't turn serious. It will never turn serious.
Congratulations, you just got into a relationship without knowing the person!
So when do you call your 'bond' serious? When you both realize you want to keep talking to each other every day, despite the faults and problems you see in this other person. It is when you start to accept the bad side of each other, that didn't show itself until the 'fun' part was over.
Out of all the persons on your contact list (MSN, Yahoo, AIM ect.), only 2 or 3 are 'real' friends.
Yet there are still people out there who claim to say. "But you still never know who it is! It might be a 65 year old man that will want to rape you with his crane!".
Who the heck talks about their problems for fun!?
What about pictures?!
Ever heard of a webcam!?
If you both trust each other while you are in the 'serious' zone, then go for it! Internet relationships builds itself on trust .. it's what you really need.
When you both do fall in love .. for real (I'm trusting you that you both trust each other and are in love with each other for real), then make sure that you can withstand the distance.
Being in an internet relationship is difficult at times that you just want to hold each other for real. Some people can't stand it anymore, and eventually cheat with their partners .. with someone who's closer.
Can you see it? The amount of trust you need to put in someone who's probably a country away from you?
It's trust. And most people who think negatively on internet relattionships, have probably been betrayed by someone who was still in the 'fun' zone.
Lets break it down for you.
Fun: Laughing, free chat, sharing the same views, no strings attached, won't stay in your memories, easily forgotten, can be replaced fast.
Serious: Laughing, yelling, free chat, serious debates, sharing the same views, sharing the different views, strings attached, you change with this person, will stay in your memories, can't be forgotten without a beer, can't be replaced .. no one else is like that.
That should be a bit easier for you to recognize who are you real friends, and who are the fun ones.
Then how do you fall in love on the internet?
For one, it would be easier to know what the person looks like. This is not to judge wetether he or she is hot, but it's to know how your love looks like so you can dream about them. Dreaming without a face is really annoying.
So when you've got all these, a serious friendship, a picture .. maybe even a voice .. maybe even a webcam. You're save to sail the boat of love.
How do you maintain it? Well, I can't tell you what to do, because you need to discuss it with your partner about this. Make yourself clear what you want out of this relationship (do you see a future? can you trust your partner won't cheat on you? can you handle the long distance? will you ever meet?).
All set? Now you can look forward to one thing! The actual meeting!
Beware, if your partner's picture doesn't give you butterflies, then he or she in real life won't give you them either.
Thank you for reading.
Oh, beware of dating sites. People on there are 'forced' to be romantic. If you want to find an internet relaionship, stop looking. You'll find someone when you're having fun without being on a dating site.
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