Determine the Real Goals

When you argue, sometimes you grab onto small ´indicators´ of what the problem is instead of looking at what really bothers you. Arguing over those indicators really get you nowhere, because the root of the problem isn´t being addressed.

Take the time to discuss what about the situation is really in contention. You might find that a solution completely separate from the argument meets both of your needs, once you step back and really examine it. For example, if he´s always playing computer games and she´s complaining about it, maybe both are looking for more fun in their lives. If they find something fun they *both* like doing, it´s a win-win.