Love Him Love Him Not?

It is so hard to let go of some one. For me it is one of the most hardest things to do. I have been with my bf for 2 years and 6 months on and off. Thru all this time i have had broken hearts every time i did break up with him (its been four times)he never asked me for a reason i did try to give him one but he wouldn't let me. Thru all the four times we have been together he did not value me and i was always the dump butt after him. Now some time has passed and we have gotten back together, but i made a mistake i realise that i just really wanted his friendship back i wish i had never said yes. But i just cant let go of him he is so sweet and the firsts months i was so in love but now i dont feel that attraction towards him. His kisses dont have taste no more and i wish we both did not have to go thru my moodes every day just cause i dont feel the same but yet i try to break up with him and i can because as soon as i touch the subject he starts with tears.So as much as i want i cant let him go he has becomed a part of myself and it is so hard to tear it away. But he dessers some one that cares for him the same way he does for me i still love him but now as just my bestest friend and i know i will have to do it some day bt my memories will last forever like they say "were there was fire ashes remain, but the ashes the wind blows them away"