want her back more than anything

My ex left me after being in love for over a year. I was on holiday when it happened and she just said she wanted to be single. I tried getting her back but I just made things worse and now she really hates me. All the xxxx she's put me through really doesn't change how i feel about her and even though she's changed so much i still see the perfect girl I fell in love with and who told me she would love me forever. I'm probably an idiot chasing a dream but all these months of torture would disappear if i could just hold her like i used to and hear her say "i love you".