How to Regain Lost Trust

The core of every relationship is trust. When you agree to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend, or if you say "I Do" to become their wife or husband, you are saying that you will support that person completely and that you expect their support in return. A violation of trust is the ultimate betrayal you can cause in a relationship, to betray that faith and responsibility that has been agreed on.

Trust isn't as simple as "Oh well, I touched another person" or "I only lied about something that wasn't life-or-death". It is about a betrayal of faith. If someone is willing to lie to you about a small thing, it is rather hard to imagine they would be truthful about something even more powerful. In essence the smaller trials and tribulations are "tests" to see if a person is mature enough to make those hard decisions. If they can't be truthful about the smaller issues, then it is very unlikely that they will be there at your side when it really matters.

So, given how incredibly important trust is in any relationship, how do you repair the problem once trust has been shattered? The most important things to understand here is that it will NOT be quick and easy. Trust is the most core component of any relationship. It is the one thing that holds you together. If someone violates that trust, they are in essence invalidating the entire premise of the relationship. This is not an easy thing to fix and, to be honest, many relationships never recover from it.

The person who has violated the trust has to realize it is their responsibility to rebuild that trust. It can easily take the person who is the "victim" weeks or months to come to terms with it. Reubilding trust is not a quick-fix issue. It is a long term project that needs work from both parties. The person who caused the rift has to work daily on rebuilding the trust. The person who was violated needs to find the emotional strength to trust again.

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