How to Flirt if You're a Guy

First off, there are NO set rules as far as flirting goes. The basis of flirting and breaking the ice is that it is a contact between two VERY UNIQUE individuals. In this case, you and a particular girl. Each of you is a VERY different person from the "average girl" and the "average guy". Some girls may like roses and romance. But maybe this girl is a tomboy and would think those things very dumb. Some girls may like poetry. But other girls may think that is "old fashioned and boring" and would rather have you just hang out with her.

So the most important key to flirting and breaking the ice is to know as much as possible about this girl before you just barrel up to her. What type of music does she like? What are her hobbies? Watch what kind of clothes she wears. Does she wear long, flowing skirts and peasant blouses? Does she wear jeans and hiking boots? Is she very outgoing, always talking with lots of people? Is she very shy, usually quiet and by herself? All of these things will help you decide how to approach her.

Let's say you spend a few weeks getting to know what she's about and are ready to initiate contact. The key in this is Slow and Steady. You don't want to leap at her - this would make any human nervous. You want her to think of you as a normal, good part of her life. So start out by making the transition from "stranger" to "that guy I see around". Do that by following some of the Breaking the Ice tips and by smiling or saying "hi" when you pass her in the halls. Don't go into long conversations, just keep up that tap - tap - tap reminder that you are there and friendly.

OK, after a week or two of this, she knows and expects that "hi" from you when she sees you. It's not a scary thing, it's a nice thing. People like to be thought of and remembered. Now you move on to slightly longer conversations. This is where the "flirt behavior" that many think of comes into play. During these longer conversations, you want her to know that you enjoy talking to her, that you are interested in what she has to say. People LIKE to be liked, they like to feel like what they say is important. So flirting is in essence the way in which you give her that feedback - that what she says matters, what you like what she is all about. Try some Flirting Techniques and invent your own too. It's about making her feel special, about looking in her eyes when she talks so she knows you're listening. About not acting bored. About not watching when other girls walk by.

One of the keys to flirting is touch. Touch is one of our most important senses, and the idea of "personal space" is drilled into each one of us as a child. We're all taught to keep strangers away. So to let someone touch you is a very intimate thing. As you flirt with this girl, find small ways to touch her - maybe pat her on the shoulder, or give her a brief hug goodbye. Invite her to thumb wrestle. Those small touches can be a very strong link between you two.

How To ... in Love



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