Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
True Love to True Monster

My ex and I met 1 1/2 yrs ago through mutual friends and after dating a few months fell in love. It was so exciting for me b/c this was the 2nd time I'd ever felt like this in my life and I was excited to strengthen and explore it with him. While we were both wonderful ppl we were NOT wonderful together.
Bottom line- he fell short of what I wanted from a man and a relationship. So my head started to turn. When he saw that he got really angry and mean to me and Instead of walking at that point, I stuck around hoping it would get better. The trust got worse between us, and the worse the trust got the meaner he got. The meaner he got the more I cried. After a while I wondered why I was still here at all, but still I couldn't leave. I Think I was maybe addicted to the drama and also to having someone "there". He was addicted to controlling me and the lack of trust caused him to put me down and demand my online passwords for things. I wanted to date other ppl and see if I could find someone who made me cry less often and happy more.
We broke up, made up, broke up, made up. In between I would date and started having sex with someone else. It was a distraction really- a way of skipping the mourning period and going right to moving on. Guess what? It didn't work.
He'd check my online sites after we broke up and had a way of saving them so even if I changed my info he could still see. THen we'd get back together, He'd ask me questions that really were not any of his business (we were broken UP) and when he'd catch me not telling all he'd call me a liar and horrible names and scream at me but we STILL attempted to stay togehter- but without trust. (Psst: aint workin).

After he found out I'd been with someone else he proceeded to call him over to my place using my phone and bashed his face in. He also slapped me around a few times. It was terrible. I lost my friends (who were tired of hearing about it and being dragged into the middle of the crossfire) and I lost my dignity and self respect because of the ways he'd berated me. And I lost my boyfriend ultimately ANYWAY because who can stay in something when you've been disrespected as a female AND there is NO trust.
We'd hurt each other beyond all possibilities of fixing it. And now I have to pick up the pieces- alone.

Lessons learned?
1) Do NOT complain to mutual friends of your man about the relationship, and be careful not to drag them into your drama- or you may find yourself alone

2) Do NOT look to other men to fill the void of the one you lost. It will not work, and often it makes things WORSE. Let the pain hit you, mourn it, and take your TIME MOVING ON

3) If the trust is gone, there's very little chance that you can EVER get it back (esp. in younger relationships)

4) LADIES: DO not EVER let a man speak down to you, call you names, or put his hands on you in anger. Once you allow it, your self worth/esteem plummets. And getting it back is a rough road uphill again

Please take heed of these 4 Lessons I LEARNED and save yourself a lot of pain.

~Beautifully Broken~


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