Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
He shattered my world
This is long but its worth it please read!! ugh. Were together a year and we were so close like we knew each other in a past life it was weird.. i knew things about him without him even tellin me. I took care of him the days he couldn't walk cuz of his scoliosis and i told him that i would be there for the rest of our lives and take care of him. i didn't have a job but he did. i played the homemaker role even though we had no kids together. His daughter and i bonded so strong i had to tell her i wasn't mommy cuz thats what she started callin me. ugh tears suck i cant see the screen. anyways we lost our apartment cuz he was stupid and never paid rent and we moved in with my girlfriend for a month or two but had to leave all the sudden one day after her mom and her had an argument. the only thing we knew to do was get a weekly hotel and thats what we did for a couple months but we couldn't afford it anymore. I didn't have a regular job but somehow managed to find odd jobs and come up on money so i contributed. When worse got even more worse we finally agreed to split.. i would go to my moms and he to his..an hour apart and neither of us had a car cuz our car got junked and i told him before it happened that a long distance relationship wouldn't work and we would grow apart.. wel i guess he grew apart cuz all i did was think bout him all day everyday and anticipate everytime i would get to see him. i missed(miss) him so bad that i would get mad when he wouldn't talk to me all day and wait til late night to call me.. its like hello i love you and just want to hear from you.. you can even send a simple text and he started tellin me he was busy and his calls got farther and farther apart.. the last few times he was supposed to come to my mom's and stay the weekend he would either cancel at the last minute or he broke up with me. i guess i should have seen it coming but i thought it was just my manic episode that scared him i was so desperate to be with him.i never loved a man as much as him. i not only wanted him but i thought i needed him. he was well still is my heart and soul and i don't think i'll really ever get him out of my heart. in that short year we went through so much and i stuck by his side. anyways Halloween weekend i asked off work for him so i could spend the whole weekend with him. the 30th he calls me and we had a good convo and he even was talkin bout he loved me and was comin over and couldn't wait.. he said something but i don't remember what it was and i could hear something different in his voice..and i asked him about it cuz i could sense it..then he shattered my world and said I DONT LOVE YOU LIKE I USED TO AND I DONT WANT TO BE TOGETHER ANYMORE..OUT OF NOWHERE...and it was like i was floating in a sea of kicks in my stomach.. i even threw up later that night from crying so hard. i mean this is the man that an hour ago was talkin bout i love you yes i want to be with you. i can't wait to see you. i miss you. when we first went to each other's mom's house he was on the phone crying and crying talkin bout i cant be away from my wifey i love you so much baby i hate bein away form you it is killin me inside..and 2 weeks before asked me to MARRY him...we talked about spending our lives together all the time so i was 100% in the relationship. I could feel him slipping away and the only thing i could do is cry. The only thing I could do is wonder why? I know what heartbreak feels like God i know but why again? I thought he was the one this time. I really did with everything inside of me i loved this man despite all the arguments despite the petty fights and his baby mama drama I loved him with all my heart.. i even paid someone to take me to him cuz i knew he didn't have money til he got paid 2 weeks later. i gave him 50 bucks but since he broke us off he hasnt called me or anything and he was supposed to western union that money back to me. There isn't enough glue in this world to piece my heart back together again. I cried all that night but swore to myself I wouldn't cry anymore and its nov 14 now and i haven't cried since oct 30..til now. til i heard Ashanti's STRUGGLE.. i want so bad to send him the lyrics to that song but i don't want to look like a fool if he says none of that matters i still don't want to be with you. God I'm so lost right now. I tried to get my mind off him by talkin to other interested men but he won't stop going through my head. wonder what he's doin. i can't believe this is it. this is all our love was. this is really the end of us?? Ugh i hate tears. I wish i was the one that left. sorry i had to pour my heart out...
4.43 out of 5 slimes
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