Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
Risky sex not really

Here's my story...

I had been seeing X for five months. I really liked him, I fancied him totally and I was beginning to feel confident and secure because he had invited me to an outdoor classical concert and to meet his family - and that event was two months away.

It was really nice having someone who held my hand in public and I loved dropping his name into conversation with my friends and family.

One Saturday night, I decided to tell him about my past. When I was 19, I caught herpes from a long-term boyfriend. Herpes, unlike true love!, lasts a lifetime and I get recurrences from time to time so I needed to tell him. We had been sleeping together, but using condoms. I did go on the pill briefly - but certainly during that time, I didn't have a herpes flare-up so he was never ever at risk.

So I told him about it, explained the symptoms, the risks and why I thought he had never been at risk. Two days later, he calls round at my house and dumps me. He says he wouldn't be able to have sex with me again because he would worry about catching it all the time. (And if anyone out there has also had herpes they will know that it's not that bad...)

He was a practising Catholic (though I thought they were supposed to abstain from sex outside marriage completely...)and aside from his first marriage, I was the longest relationship he'd ever had with a woman so I've put the whole episode down to extreme naivity - not knowing enough about women and not knowing enough about sex.

Lessons learned? Never tell the truth about your sexual past if you're a woman? Never date a fastidious man - extreme cleanliness spills over into emotional areas. Always date someone who's been round the blocks a few times too? Always date someone who's had more than one long relationship?

Anyway, if anyone else has had a similar experience, I would love to hear about it...






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