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A Love Quote
Love wing’d my Hopes and taught me how to fly. --Anonymous



Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
I'll get her back one day

My girlfriend of three years was living together with me in a foreign country. We shared an apartment. On and off she would go back to the USA, or we would both go back, visit our families for awhile.. I really trusted her to the point of believing her when she said things like, "Oh, we're just really good friends.. he's just a really good guy, he would never try anything," and then she actually had to nerve to send me by email a picture of the guy with his arm around her shoulder--the guy I would later find she was cheating with. She came back to the foreign country again and lived with me there for three months, she was often tired and moody. She said she thought she might have Mono or something. She went back to her family home for a few weeks. Then we met again at my family's summer cottage, my girlfriend joined and lived with me there. I had to go back to the foreign country again briefly. Upon just returning from the foreign country the last time, I tried calling her. Usually we talked every day if we were apart and now suddenly no word from her for 5 days, not even by email. I wasn't suspicious of anything, just worried. Was she dead or something? We had each others passwords to email, so I thought, well maybe I can check hers and make sure she is at least alive! So I do check (I never had before) and suddenly I find a whole slew of emails, revealing that for two months of the last year that I thought she had "mono" she was in fact pregnant with another man's baby--the same "really good guy" who was in the picture she sent me. She had been together with him--a real couple--all fall. That night all I did was read emails, I learned about what basically amounted to a secret life. She had even lied to me about her job, told me she started work as a waitress when in fact it was a massage parlor with "happy endings." I know this is too messed up for most people to comprehend or interpret as reality. I know, believe me, it was for me too. Even while she lived with me in our apartment in the foreign country, she had been involved with this other guy all the time, writing him song lyrics, using the phone at my school to call him, and all the while I thought she was sick and tried to take care of her, she was pregnant with his child. And that was the real reason she went home ahead of schedule--to get an abortion. I can't believe I let this woman into my whole family. When I finally got in touch with her, she told me, "No don't worry. I know I've been bad about keeping contact the past five days but really, nothing's wrong... I love you so much. If it would help to stop you worrying, well, we could even get engaged." What I learned was that at this time, it wasn't the guy from before she was cheating on me with anymore. Now it was yet another guy, with my same name as me--which just kind of sucked. This guy even texts me and taunts me. Says things "my dick is in her mouth." These were dark times. I almost killed myself. How can a person lie like this? Do bad things really happen, ever, to bad people? Is there a such thing as morality? I don't think so. I'm sorry, but I really don't think so. There is no justice. Bad people get away with things every day. The rest is bullshit. My exgirlfriend owed me for 2000 dollars of her half of the apartment in unpaid rent. Of course she hasn't paid that back to me. She sends a few checks here and there. Believe me I'm doing all I can do to forget her, but the money thing is an attachment that makes it difficult. Cheating is one thing, when it is just one night meeting at a bar or something, but when it is planned and manipulated for a long period of time--letting someone just hang on while you have a whole other relationship on the side for a year--I think that is so wrong. I think the only type of person who can pull this off is someone who really does not value love, or value themself. They probably can't even be honest to themselves or to anyone in the world. I don't think a liar like this feels guilty. But I do think they feel very alone when they realize no one knows who they are. I can't wait to see my ex in about 10 years, when she isn't young or pretty anymore, when she has nothing left in life but the memory of the lies she told and the loves she lost, when the chance for anything real and true is gone I'll buy her a bottle of wine. She'll need it. I'll drink it with her and wait for her to get drunk and she'll cry and beg to have me back. Then I'll say, "Sure baby, sure..." like Humphrey Bogart. "Love is forever." Then I'll drop her a line of promises she'll cling to and watch it slip through her fingers as I pull it away, slowly, as she clutches... I'll get her back one day, just so that I can leave her with nothing at all.






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