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A Love Quote
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. -- Helen Keller



Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
I love myself too much to stay with someone like him.

When your little your dream is to meet your prince charming. You grow up thinking that everyone you meet is going to love you as much as your parents did. Take care of you, never hurt you. I never that that R* would hurt me so much.

I met him and my whole life changed. I never was one to fall in love so quickly, but he made it so easy. Everything he said, made me blush. Each word so carefully chosen and everything he said seemed so genuine.

In time I gave him my virginity and months later he gave me a promise ring. Asked that I'd be his forever. And in my heart, I did promise him my forever.

Three years go by from the day we committed ourselves to eachother. Everyone was waiting for the big moment when he would propose. He was graduating college and our life was begining. Looking for houses, shopping for the engagement ring. But there was something wrong, he was so distant. He had always been the one to push us taking steps forward in our relationship, and suddenly it was as if he could care less how I felt, what I said. I never felt so lonely. He kept telling me he just has a lot of things on his mind. A lot of stress.

Me trying to be supportive, I thought it was a phase. I thought I was being neurotic and I was just becoming insecure.

Then one Monday morning, I found the card. It was from a girl at his work. She called herself his "Sancha" and he was her "Sancho" . After using google I learned that meant in Spanish "the girl you screw while your woman is away".

My heart sank and I actually felt myself die inside. I felt numb and then the pain struck through me like I had been hit with a truck. R* doesn't REALLY love me. Not the way he had always said he had. The note had a lot of sexual content and I just cried.

Well of course you can imagine how the rest of the day went. He called to say he was thinking about me and I confronted him. He tried to lie his way out of it and then said, fine, I slept with the b**ch, f**k you.

Later that day he text messaged me (afterall I deserve a text message apology after all the years we had been together) and he said he tried to hide all the bad things he did, but he couldn't. He was sorry he couldn't cover it all up. Never taking responsibility that what he had done was wrong.

Later that night, just for the sole purpose of finding out the truth, I told him I would stay with him, but he had to tell me everything. He told me that his "sancha" was not the first and only girl. He had slept with her only twice and that was years ago. I believed him because she had dated the card.

I then asked who. He said he had been sleeping with the same girl throughout our relationship and that she was pregnant. He had cheated on his last girlfriend with her. He never wanted a relationship with her because she was "too fat" for him. I looked at him, and wonder where the man I loved was. The man I love would never speak about or to a person that way. We sat and I cried. The sad thing is all I wanted was for him to hold me at that moment. What I realize I had really wanted, was the man I thought he was, not the real R*. The real R* was a stranger, someone I had never really known.

In the next week, my life story grew worse. All I know is that she was scared of him marrying me, and all she wanted was to hang on to him. He had committed to not seeing her anymore and they had their "one last time" together. Well in the end, he's alone, I'm alone and she had his baby all by herself. The only thing she gets from him is child support.

I've never been perfect, but if anything in my life, I've always been respectful of others relationships. Of other people. To sit and hate them, will only kill me inside. It's sad, but what hurts the most, is that I gave him my virginity and heart, and I said, even before the first time we made love, was that if he had been disrespectful in anyway to me then please, don't take this from me. That he better be someone I could look back on and not feel anguish and heartache from.

The problem with heartbreak, is that no one expects to be hurt, and if you judge people off the bat so quickly, then you can never fall in love. But how do you guard your heart from people like R*? How do you know? All I know is that I'm a good person. I don't deserve what they did to me, and as much as he says he loves me and always will, I love myself to much to stay with someone like him.






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