Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
addressed to a loved one
addressed to a loved one.
I know you'll probably read this at some point or another anyways. So I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I'm just tired of putting effort, upon effort on upholding some form of connection. I do love you, you're probably well aware of that, since I always have. But yeah, i'm not sure what it means to you, because I consider you one of the best friends that a person can ever have. You're caring, just not very much towards me anymore. But I know deep down you are. Lately you've been stressed, and I can understand. So maybe I should let it rest, hoping you'll sometime come to me..
I'm glad, that we're okay though, as friends. That above everything, means alot to me. Because believe it or not, you are truely wonderful, I know that.. because once I was close to you, and I know what you're like, problem free.. when you're at ease, comfortable. just, letting your own imagination roam around with mine.. actually, putting faith and trust in me.. I just want you to know that, that bond we have is not taking a beating right now, because I know it's unbreakable.. But i'm not.. When you push me, Meg.. when you push me away, it hurts. You make me feel like a horrible human being, for being bummed out about missing you. When all that truely says is, that you're a person really worth missing.. Not everyone gets to know what that feels like..
I think I want to end this entry, in another way than it really started out. Because, I can feel that you're very exhausted mentally, you're jumping all over the place even more than me really. As "your" Chris, it worries me. But I know, that tomorrow, with your familly might be just what you need if I know you right.. Which is why I fully understand why we clash, which is also why I can't ever hold it against you. I mean, you can't save the world, or do multiple things at once without it wearing you out in the end.. Least, from all this I can say a few things. I've gotten to see other parts of your character that might not be as fairytale like, but just makes you seem more human and even vunerable.. Which is why, I think I can claim that I know you in a way, better than anyone else. And you very well know me.. a weaker relationship than ours would have been utterly destroyed by now, yet we remain, for reasons I cannot explain.. But you know how to push my buttons, and how to avoid em too. I can say the same thing for me.. Your life seems filled with obligations, I don't want to be another add to the mix. I only wish to be, viewed as I once was. Which only you can tell me. Cause I know what you do for me, when you're yourself. You're great conversation, you're funny, deep, even enlightning at times. You got one of those rare mixed personalities, that has a little bit of everything that makes you who you are. I don't think anyone else, could ever replace, infact I know no one can. So for me it's either, give up on yet another important friend/person in my life, infact, the most important so far.. Or keep hanging on, and see where the ride will take me.. Maybe, it'll be worth it, in the end.. Who knows..
Tomorrow, is scary.. but yeah, walk tall, live strong. I'll pull through, cause i'll try to think back and smile. Exactly the way you made me smile back then. Because, I don't know about you. But tomorrow is a day, that'll always stand out for me. It's shown me, what love is supposed to feel like, when you find it again. Like, I told you new years eve. You are my true love, I meant that from the bottom of my heart. I can never explain that to anyone else, it's something that'll always to be only understood between you and me, even if it'll remain unspoken, from here and til the day i'm grey and old..
du er dum, men jeg elsker dig..
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