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A Love Quote
They say love is blindness of heart; I say not to love is blindness. --Victor Hugo



Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
why do some guys find it so hard to stick into a relationship?

It started out as a mad love whirl. A year later I wonder where's gone and if it was real or just the product of his shortcomings. We had been working together for more than a year and always got along great. I fancied him but he was dating another girl which i really respected. Also, I felt he is the kind of guy who cannot stay with one girl and loses interest after a while, too curious and always not really satisfied. Sure enough he did break up with that girl and had a few affairs before and after they broke up. Soon after that I decided to move to a another country. Before leaving we went together for a 'goodbye' drink and this is where it started. He started telling me how from the very first time she met me he wanted to be together. He also told me that he doesn't know what to do because he always hurts the people he gets close to. But still we went on into what I thought would be a one-night thing, as I was leaving soon, but turned out to be a week of madness where we had not sleep more than 2 h a night. It was out-of this world. Then I did leave. Initially he said: 'well, maybe another time another place' but then he decided to follow me because he could not stand losing me. It was mad because he had no job, nothing where I was going. And it was hard to find. The first few months have been great, we were so much in love and we were discovering a new place. He was doing everything right. But after about 3 months, he started getting more and more 'depressed' and one day he said he was leaving. And that everything was over between us. He couldn't say if he loved me anymore, because 'he didn't feel like himself'. We had not made love in a couple of weeks. We had one final hasty love and he left. I was destroyed. I also got some signs that he was seeing another girl -I am certain of it although he told me that all he did was feel miserable and at one point tried to kill himself. After less than 2 weeks he called me, imploring me to have him back. I eventually did. He was a ghost of himself when he came back. After he got better he was really decided to stay with me nomatterwhat. It lasted another 3 months, though, and he could not take the boredom of staying at home while I was at work anymore. He went back home, but we have decided that it was probably better for me to move back home too. I was ok with it and it seemed normal as he had done everything possible. We decided though for him to try one more time to find something in the country I was in, to be sure. But then he started behaving really rigidly, getting angry over all the little things, staying up until late, while I was going to bed, being very distant. He told me he didn't think I really wanted to move back. I assured him I did. But then he got even more into himself, not communicating anymore. He said at one point that he didn't think things are working between us, we were fighting too much, but then we decided to keep trying and not give up so easily. We did, but I felt it was a bit forced from his part. When he needed to go back home for a while, he was still distant and I started to believe that we really are not together anymore. After a few weeks we talked a bit more and I told him that I wasn't sure we were together or not - he started crying. He asked me if I had already taken that decision. I said no, but I really don't know what to think. We decided to think when we were a bit more calm because we were both crying. A few days later I told him I was thinking of coming to visit for a weekend and he told me it is not worth it, we would only hurt each other. And that it seemed that we both made our choice, as he doesn't want to still try to come where I am and I didn't want to move home. It was true, i didn't want to move home if our relationship was working the way it was, but maybe that was just due to the context of him being far from his friends, with no job, etc. I had told him that a few times, that it might be just that that makes him so unsatisfied. But his refusal of my visit was so clear, I felt it was no use still trying. He even said we had both tried and tried already. I was then so relieved not to have to deal with all his moods and problems, but I still wish things would have worked out differently. And I feel that he gave up so easily as he had found a new girl to keep him busy. That is not what love is supposed to mean. For myself I don't want to look for a rebound right now. Which it's probably bad... I keep asking myself if I could have done anything differently to make it work and why do some guys find it so hard to stick into a relationship?






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