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Love and art do not embrace what is beautiful - but what is made beautiful by this embrace. --Karl Kraus



Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
i really think he doesn't care, and i wonder why he bothered at all.

we started going out more casually. it wasn't serious then, but i sure did like him.

i was visiting, needed sleep but needed to catch a bus in only a few hours. asked him to wake me so id have a decent amount of time to get ready to travel.

he woke me later than i asked, kissing me and holding me upright til i was awake enough to stand. and that was when i fell in love.

things changed. he was irritated that i so much as wanted to be in the same room with him, much less to touch him.

we were never exclusively with one another; i never asked for that. we agreed on that before my feelings changed, but i am simply not a jealous person. i didn't want to be with anyone else, but if i heard from him about another woman, which i did once in a while, it didn't bother me.

there was an incident where i discovered that my ear was bleeding. it ended with my eardrum breaking and me being deaf in that ear for some time. he escorted me to the hospital, and to my home, but i got no sense of reassurance from him, and i was very much afraid.

since the busses were unreliable between our homes, friends often drove me; sometimes his and other times mine. inevitably, one of his and one of mine met in this way. he spoke to me as if i ought to discourage the relationship, which puzzled me.

the last time i saw him in person was the weekend that this couple drove me to his home after the three of us had dinner, to find him gone. a roommate, also a friend, was home, and i waited, sleeping for much of it, til the couple returned, to find he had still not returned. the roomate and the three of us then went elsewhere for a while, and returned to find him home.

he stated that our relationship was toxic, that he had an allergic reaction to me, and that it was over.

he has called since then, saying that he thinks of me, of us...

but he will not come to me in person. and all i have are memories of a few happy times together. he had only come to my home once. if he really cares, then it is his turn. but i really think he doesn't care, and i wonder why he bothered at all.






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