Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
There is not a day that goes by where i do not think of him
"Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda means your out of time...."
There is not a day that goes by where i do not think of him. Thoughts of him, what was, and everything that could have been, come as naturally as the air i breathe. They invade my mind from the moment the morning sun creeps into my room. We knew each other through family and he proved to be a sounding board for me when i was going through a very difficult time. My father's accident left me shattered and the rest of my life was in turmoil. It seemed that talking to him was the only way to allay my fears. We got close, he shared things that i know other people have no idea about. Seeing each other was a dangerous thing to do and retrospectively, i can see that our relationship was a source of grief to many people around us, including my dad. We tried to carry it on but it was just too difficult. I was young and i felt like there was too much pressure to be a good daughter and be a good girlfriend at the same time under the circumstances. The people around us were upset and my own family in particular gave me an ultimatum - us or him. It was too much and under the pressure, threats and constant heartache from both sides, i caved and gave into my parents. Now? He's had an arranged marriage, has a wife and lovely baby boy and I'm still here thinking about what could have been. There have been others but it's impossible to give when your heart's in tatters and there isn't anything worthy to give. I drove past his house today and thought, i wonder if he knows I still love him? does he still love me? Is he happy? I'll never know because i dont have the courage. I wish he'd realize that i never stopped loving him, that my heart has, and always will, belong to him. I wish he'd known that simply because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they dont love you with all they have and are capable of. So may things to wish for...most of all though, I wish i could have known how bad i'd be hurting when i decided to let him go.
3.55 out of 5 slimes
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