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Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
How could I be so blind to what he was really like?

I am an intelligent 37 year old woman and I have to admitt that I have probably just had my heart really broken for the first time. We met on September 11th 2004. I had not been in a serious relationship for over 10 years (I have been busy with higher education studies and am very fussy). I do not fall in love easily but when I do I am very loyal and giving. Things seems to go very well. I moved in to his house after 5 months, his three teenage children seemed comfortable with me, we looked at display homes and picked the one that we hoped to one day build together and he talked often about wanting to have more children. I hindsight I realise that he often put down what I do for a living (I am a university lecturer while he manages an icecream factory) and never gave me any compliments (not one that I can recall). This bothered me when we were together but I ignored it because I assumed this was what he was like. The only issue that really concerned me while we were together was his lack of sex drive. He seemed happy to have sex when I initiated but rarely did he touch me. I tried to talk about this often but he said it was not a problem. When I asked if he was not attracted to me, he insisted that he was. While I was assuming we would have a wonderful life together it turns out he was having doubts. After 14 months of living together we went away for Easter with his kids and he spent the weekend dropping cruel hints but refusing to discuss things. He said, "I am sorry" but when I asked about what he said we would talk at home after the weekend. He said, "I love you but that is the problem". Same response when I asked "what problem".
Eventually he tells me that he has been talking to a woman at work about them having feelings for each other. He says she is not important but it made him realise that he loves me but is not 'in-love' with me any more. He says they will not be together as it is about 'us' not 'her'. He says he does not really want any more kids because it would upset the ones he has if he lives with other kids and not them. He does not want to build a new house after all because he likes where he lives just fine. He says we should be 'all over each other'. This annoyed me because I had tried to talk to him about this issue many times. After a week of trying to work out what was wrong and if we could salvage something I moved out.
Within two weeks of me moving out he planned a three week trip overseas with the other woman and gave up spending the school holidays with his kids. Within two months of us breaking up he moves out of his house to live in a rental property with her and her kids. Clearly everything he said to me was a complete lie.
In the scheme of things I know there are worse breakup stories but it took me so long to find the man I wanted to spend my life with that I do not know how I am going to get over this. I always put his kids first and now I miss them also. I never took him away from them and I loved him with all my heart. I put up with his lack of compliments because I believed that I knew he loved me because I was the only woman since his divorce (10 years ago) that he had lived with. Shortly before we broke up I asked him why he lived with me when he had on lived with anyone else. He said he was ready for a change of life-style. I was devastated... it had nothing to do with me specifically. Now this other woman has the life I had dreamed of. I feel like she has my future.
He dumped me (a university lecturer, completing a PhD) for a factory worker who I have been told does not speak very good English. How could I be so fooled? How could I be so blind to what he was really like? What is so wrong with me?






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