Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
I guess I just go on nursing this soul love that has no cure until the day I die.
I left my ex 6 years ago for a very stupid reason, but (and I am in no way excusing myself here) I was pretty messed up in the head with self-esteem issues which tainted my interactions with everyone at that time in my life. He did cheat on me, but I pushed him to do it; really, I actually said to do it. Remember, I was really messed up at the time (and, no, not from drugs, sadly. At least then I would have some sort of lame excuse) Well, I ended it. A classic case of act in haste, repent at leasure. 6 years later, I am remarried and have a 3-year-old daughter. My current husband loves me, I am sure, but has the emotional capacity of a slug. I made my bed and I will lie in it. He is a good man, a GREAT father, and a good provider. But I could not honestly tell you when and what the last compliment he paid me was. Nor could I tell you the last time he said he loved me without me saying it first. I have not been in touch with my ex since the day the divorce papers were filed. Until today. I couldn't take it any more. I think about him constantly, and while I entertain no thoughts of doing anything to hurt my current husband (he does not deserve the same treatment my ex got [well, nor did my ex, for that matter]) I have thought about him since the last day I ever saw him. I have always known how to contact him, but I have not until today. I am miserable and stuck in a place that I will continue to be miserable in. There seems to be no escape. I came from a broken home and I vowed the day that I found out I was pregnant that my child should not suffer the same. So what do I do? I guess I just go on nursing this soul love that has no cure until the day I die. -soulsick, but determined to lay in the bed I made
2.60 out of 5 slimes
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