Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
He is now starting his masters degree and is moving up to where I now live
I need closure!
I started dating one of my brother's best friends last summer and things were great at the begining. He was really keen, phoned me lots, we went out a lot and for the first time ever I thought I had found someone who was really on my wavelength, was passionate, funny, unique and handsome. This stage lasted for about 2-3 months. Then he got his results back from his degree which were not as he had expected. He had to repeat his dissertation and begin his masters next year (which is now). I don't know if this really affected his self-esteem but he lost his zest. I understood his situation and don't think that I did anything to make him feel bad about it. Perhaps I didn't do anything to make him feel good about himself either...
He had to go back to live with his family. He lives about 1hrs drive away from me. He didn't have a car, I did so I drove to his place at the weekend to see him. It wasn't every weekend, sometimes as little as once a month as I have a job where I have to work weekends. I, too, was living at home and I have a big family so him coming to see me wasn't really an option. He could have, but it would have been awkward and I liked seeing his part of the country.
Consequently, I got very attached to him, his mum, niece and his cat! I am very independent and didn't smother him in any way, at least I don't think I did.. We hardly every saw each other for God's sake!
He is now starting his masters degree and is moving up to where I now live. I had thought that this would have been the start of something good...as we could see each other more often, go out more, have sex without his mother in the same house!
But no. He phoned one night and said that he thought we should take a break...for a couple of months. He still wanted to keep in touch, phonecalls and texts etc. I, however, couldn't really accept this. I saw it as his way of just calling me when he wanted, no relationship at all. Oh yes, he also said that he didn't feel committed.
We were meant to meet up in person to discuss it but he pulled out at the last moment saying that he needed more time to think about things. I saw that as him wanting to dump me but not knowing how to do it.
It's been 2 months now and we haven't seen each other or had a proper conversation about us. I feel so confused and hurt, and angry that I had spent so much time with him when he was living at home, travelling to his and as soon as there was an actual chance of our relationship to get better, he says that he wants a break.
My problem is that I still don't know if he just wanted a break and get back together when he had started his course, or whether he wanted to end it altogether. If that was the case, I think that after a 13 months of being with someone, being intimate, supporting them etc he should have talked with me fact to face. All I got was a call and a couple of texts saying that he didn't want a serious relationship, that he was rubbish at relationships.
I even went to a fortune teller becuause I am feeling so low. If that is the end, I just want to know. I can't believe that he thinks so little of me as not to see me fact to face. He is moving in with my brother this week and will be living up the road from me. I don't know if I can cope with that if he really wants to end it. I didn't realise that I liked him so much. I still don't know if he thinks anything about me. Maybe his silence should say it all. If he really did want back with me then he would have contacted me by now? Am i deluding myself? Or am I being impatient with his need to be single for a while.
My head knows that it's the first one; but my heart is trying to convince me that it is the second.
I just hope that all this ends soon because I don't think that I have ever felt so low in my whole life.
Thanks for listening.
2.00 out of 5 slimes
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