Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
But on the other hand he could be cruel, damn heartless, selfish and egomaniacal. But I loveed him and I still do

Oh he was not my boyfriend but the sweetest, funniest, most good-looking and witty lad I both had the joy and tragedy of running into.

But on the other hand he could be cruel, damn heartless, selfish and egomaniacal. But I loveed him and I still do.

He was so wonderful to me. He even bought me this lovely bracelet for my birthday last year. We always had good chats and he so damn funny. He could always put a smile on my face and make me laugh even when I was at my most mindboggingly depressed.

But he was so cruel to my best friend, taunting her and fouling her up in class. He would even treat me coldly from time to time...he would run away and refuse to come out, upsetting and confusing me. He would never explain and when he did it was pretty damn lousy. F*** I was mad at him. OH HELL...damn, he was a bastard!!!

The real tragedy in all this is that he died so suddenly. No, I ain't f***ing making this up. Car crash. Yeah. I've been to a pyschologist to sought myself out, had some issues about it for quite a few months. It's almost a year ago but it still hurts like hell to remember this guy and to remember I never said anything to him about how I loved him. Maybe I shouldn't of spoken to him about it. I guess the coldness in him would of been magnified a thousand times if I was his girlfriend. I don't really know and everything about him hurts. Sometimes I see or hear stuff and suddenly he is in my head and it stings real bad.

I feel all this regret and anger. I'm trying to get past it but it seems so hopeless. A part of me says, "He's dead. Deal with it."...hell, I don't know if I can. I am dealing but I feel like grey and it's just bloody hopeless.






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