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Sick of crying and regretting my decision
Things are going bad. My ex and I aren,t together, and I miss him so much, I gave him everything. My virginity, my heart, my trust. And now were apart, All because of space. My mom was diagnosed with a heart problem. Other than not seeing him when I need him, I felt like I needed a bit of space to be able to work out things myself. He seemed devastated and kept calling me and begging for me. I told him I loved him and it will work out, and asked him to just give me space for a bit, he did. I messaged him one morning and told him to call me, we got along and got back together. That night he called me. And we started fighting. It got bad and he said I only broke up with him was for another man, and that I did sexual things with him.I got very frustrated because I am not like that at all, I wouldn,t do anything like that without loving them first. I told him to 'stay the fuck out of my life' .. Out of anger.. It ended. Again. It,s been a month and he,s been talking to me like he hates me. He,s talking to this chick on the phone who is .. Well was one of my good friends. On the phone. He claims he still loves me, and cares alot about me. He got mad at me for talking to my friend (whose a guy) about concert tickets. He told me 'if you do anything with him I,ll never talk to you again' and we,re just going through something right now.. My friends have been messaging him and getting upset he,s not being as sweet as he used to be. I had no control. He told me he can,t take me back.. 'right now' like I feel he,s just trying to hurt me. Cause I hurt him. And I love him so much. My first real love and boyfriend. 15 months. Ring was given. Promises were too.. He called me last night saying it was the distance .. I am moving like 20 mins away from there. Seeing him everyday. I understand being on the phone for 6 hours fighting isn,t what anyone wants. I call him and beg. Which is a mistake but something is telling me it can,t be over.. He says I,m gunna always have a special place in his heart and to him 'I,m the girl that got away.' .. He also said there could be a future with us. Could be. I just dunno what to do. I,m sick of crying and regretting my decision.