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Try Trading Expectations
A lot of times, people get set into mindsets without really thinking about the alternative. Set aside two months for an experiment. For the first month, live life as the first person feels they would like it, intimacy-wise. Do so with an open mind, as a 'This might be our ideal situation'. Then, do a month with the other personīs expectations. If you truly give each month a valid chance, as a realistic situation you could live with, you might both learn things about yourselves that you didnīt know before.