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Engage in Mindless Repetition
Part of what makes a grumpy person grumpy is that they are actively focussed on something they don't like. It's sort of like internal water torture, with that bad thought just bouncing around in their head.
While monks might meditate to handle that stress, most regular people aren't good at meditation. So find something that is LIKE meditation and has the same result. If your partner likes to sew, sit down and sew with them (or do something right next to your partner while your partner sews). If your partner likes birds, sit on the back porch, fill up the bird feeder and just watch for birds together, commenting on the ones you see. The key is that the activity be quiet, be pretty mindless and involve both of you two side by side. Soon the repetition of the activity will help calm down your partner, and your presence there will be a physical reassurance.
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Japanese Love Kanji|
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