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Starting a discussion
Often the way a discussion is begun can control whether or not it becomes an argument. If a discussion begins in a 'we can work together to solve this problem,' it is much more likely to be discussed reasonably than if the beginning is 'You are doing this wrong and we need to fix this.' For example, a partner who says 'You donīt wash the dishes or take out the trash when you are supposed to' will have less luck than one who says 'Letīs go over the way we have chores divided - maybe there is another arrangement that makes more sense.'