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I want my ex back - Ladies and Fellas: You must read this
Listen. I am 20 years old. My girl is 16 going on 17. We just broke up. A couple of weeks ago she got drunk and kissed 3 people. She told me the next day! I really don't know how she was feeling when she got drunk but I thought she did it on purpose and used the drunkeness as an excuse. However she told me she felt really bad about it. She knows how jealous I get becuase she wont even bring me to a party because her dancing, freaking other guys on the dance floor doesnt make me feel very good. I told her how much I loved her and how long I have for, I just never said anything. Then she kept me on down low with her friends and family. I was going crazy because I thought she had wanted me to show her love and express. She only got colder. I was thinking why would you do that and then not chill with me at all? Seh was showing me so much love a month before and I didn't care what she did that's how much I trusted her. I want an open, honest, trusting, loving, understanding, sensual relationship. Who doesn't? Anyway she told me she was uncomfortable messing with me and wanted to take things slower. She also said she was having problems with family and school. Who doesn't? I was trying to build my trust back with her. I was seeing if she was worthy of my trust. I have been very loyal to her, and I just wanted the same respect. She goes to a party with her friends and tells me later that night she went. She didnt even tell me! The next day we talked. I told her how frustratetd I was. We both agreed on a 'break'. A break is a breakup in my opinion, but she still wants to be friends. She said she has always come back to me and me to her. I don't want to be friends! I want our love back. Its hard not picking up the phone when they call. Its love. But ladies, first off, you have got to be totally honest if you want to build trust back. Put everything on the table just to make your other half feel better if they mean that much to you. Spend more time them. I wanted more time and I wanted a deeper connection with her. A deeper connection is the only way to make this work. Guys, if she has messed up, stay cool. I got emotionally attached and I didn't want to leave her. I still want to be with her. I try so, so hard not to call or communicate, but I find I get my feelings across more honestly through email. My message to both parties is first you have to want to be with that person. Second, you have to make an effort to improve yourselves in order for things to be peaceful. Third, you can't do the same things you did when you were single if you want that kind of relationship. Find out what needs improvement and do your best. Fourth, DON'T PLAY GAMES. I really hated playing these childish games with her. That turned me off the most. I am her first real love and I know she is exploring life. I understand that she doesnt know what she has with me. I know there are other guys out there, but she wouldn't go out there and mess with your head or other people just to take you back. Same goes for the women. I feel like ignoring her just cause of all of this, but I can't. I support her in whatever she does and whoever she choose. Wouldn't it be great if she chose me? Wouldn't it be even better if she made a conscious effort to make both of us happy? Be brutally honest. I hate picking up the phone when she calls but I love her to death and I really want to help her. Love is in service of. I am in her service and I owe her as a man who loves her whatever she needs. If she really loves me, she'll realize that, too, regardless of what her friends tell her. I think some of her so called brothers just want to get in her pants or a relationship, but that is not what I want. Fourth, BE PATIENT. I would never force her to do anything. I must be patient and wait until she is comfortable and happy doing what I want in a relationship lovingly and affectionately. What I want is to work things out, but she wants space in order to fix herself. I will not force her to work things out with me. I will not force her to be faithful in spite of my insecurities. I will not run after her and chase her till the ends of the earth until she chooses to love me. SHE MUST WANT TO and YOU MUST WANT TO. I think I scared her away once I told her I loved her. I also think we started to doubt the relationship weeks ago which is why we are at this point. Fifth, DO NOT DOUBT THAT WHICH YOU SEEK. Do not doubt that things will work out. Have faith. And work slowly. Ladies do not wait for the man to come running to you begging. The same goes for the guys. Do not play those stupid games. Neither of you have the time or energy for that b s. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. It is very hard for me to be there for my girl, but I must becasue I love her. Things will hard for both of guys. If they authentically want to work things out, they will not go out and find other people just to make you jealous. They wouldn't cut you off completely, and thats where I am. She says she loves me. I feel her words were not completely in line with what she was telling me now. I felt they were before and thats why I feel in love with her because that is the type of love I wanted. It has to be mutual. I gave up alot in what and how I thought about love to get to how I feel about her. You will know when that person is ready someway, somehow. I havent got there yet but I will let you know. Also, remember to stay strong and confident in who you are. You gotta remember you are fly, and stay fly. Keep doing whatever you do. Don't stop. I felt sick to point where I wouldn't eat. I am trying to remember I am a fly man who deserves love and respect and I can get girls, but I want to be with her. If you think your other is a loser, then they arent worth it. If you think they are beautiful , thats why you are reading this. Do not put yourself in a relationship where only one is working, actually trying to show love. That why I was frustrated. She wanted me to love her for months after being very patient with me, which is why I finally said it after she did that. I hope she learns, grows, and loves too even if it isnt with me. I took me years with her to get to this point. Don't put up with mistreatment at all costs even if you love them. You deserve to be treated properly. I wasn't treating her right before but I am trying. I could go on and on but I know this has to end. I have done all I can. I don't want to do her wrong and I want this mistreatment to stop. If it continues, I know it wasn't meant to be forever. I know I am good boyfriend and some would just use her and break her heart. I or anyone who loves her would never do something to do that spitefully. Forgive, don't forget, but learn and live what you have learned. Show love and you shall be loved, but be patient. Don't at all cost beg for them to come back. Things always work out for the best...