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A Love So Blind...
My ex girlfriend and I were on an off for four years. I usually was the one to break up with her due to not wanting to feel tied down and being completely committed to her, I am just about to turn 18 by the way. Its normal to have felt that way considering I am a guy and she was a year older than me but I became so blinded by everything. Out of fear of being a controlling boyfriend, I never went through her calls or messages to see who she was talking to and I tried so hard not to be jealous if she had guy friends. After one of the last times we broke up two years ago in July, she completely changed. She started messing around with one of her coworkers who eventually stalked her and begged and pleaded for me to take her back which was around April of last year. I really believed this was a turning point since each of us were getting older and I had taken her back several times when she tried to move on from what we had. I knew I loved her and she loved me but there needs to be more than just blind acceptance. Trust is vital in any relationship and if one partner isn,t being 100% honest with you, there is definitely some room to question this factor. When a partner continously questions your fidelity when they know you would never harm them, this is when you should confront them. I have never cheated on a girl and when she knew I wouldn,t do that to her, it made question her sudden interrogation. Although we lived in two separate towns, we communicated frequently yet long distance relationships are difficult to advise and withhold.
I saw that her personality had changed since the last time we were together and it made me wonder what changed her. Being extremely naive, I never confronted her and kept my suspicions to myself even though I sensed an awkward air. Through the fights and disagreements, I broke up with her July 14th this past summer. And although I regretted it, certain circumstances that took place afterward made me question who was really at fault.
About 4 or 5 months ago, her best friend told me that she wasn,t a virgin when we had sex in June. She had sex with her previous coworker and ironically, a guy she was commenting on MySpace at my house during the summer. She also had sex with her cousin,s ex boyfriend who lived in the same town as me - ironically another guy she would just 'hang out with and see from time to time' when she came ti visit me. Her former friend also revealed that she was already in the process of talking to a new guy and planning to meet him even before I ended our relationship. I guess that is the reason why she completely cut me out of her life the same night we broke up since her and that guy had already started dating officially. I knew there was a problem seeing as she was so quick to move on. I was the fool geting played the entire time and she constantly made me feel like I was in the wrong for just having one good female friend. It seemed like all the clues were there but I just never took the time to piece them together. Its true that love is blind sometimes. There are times when I think about how she,s doing, there,s even a part of me that wants to be friends again one day. Am I foolish for being the forgiving person, as always, in our relationship?
If I can offer any guidance to anyone it would be that cheating affects you and your partner in the long run. It stings emotionally and it is the destroyer of trust. If you feel like you,re being lied to, cheated on, or decieved, really sit down with your significant other and establish communication supported by an enormous level of honesty and integrity. If their attutude or behavior shift and its a cause for concern, really question them but not in a harsh negative manner. Even the most perfect of relationships can reveal the most deceptive of secrets. If you,re doing the cheating just know that you,re only destroying your partner emotionally and the trust you two built which may never be fully rebuilt. Thank you for taking the time to ready this and sorry if there are any errors - I,m posting this mobile.
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