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Why no contact works - Analysis
Many people straight from the word go will tell you to move on from your ex and to find someone new, in most cases, this is great advice. Personally i believe that if you can sit down and name 3 good reasons why you want your ex back, they are worth pursuing, however the downside to gaining the romantic upper hand when rekindling a relationship is that chasing your partner pushes them further away, this is of course where the infamous 'No Contact' rule comes into play. Why No Contact works: The basic principle of no contact is simple, give your previous partner time to miss you and realise what they have lost, this time allows both parties time to reflect and access the previous relationship and grow as people. It works on the notion that after a given period of time, many partners seek familiarity and comfort, however in order to achieve your goals, you need this comfort to build into something more (if you break no contact they gain confort and the cycle needs to start again). How to use it properly: The biggest problem with no contact, is that it's harder then you'd ever think, as such the need to follow though with your plan should be your drive. Now, i'm not promising all rainbows and flowers, it's going to be difficult, during this period you may see your previous partner with another person, it's going to sting, but then you need to understand - They aren't going to sit at home, drink water and watch TV for the next month. Now the process in order to manage No Contact: 1. Start evening Walks/Runs (any form of exercise will release endorphines). 2. Deactivate your Facebook/MySpace for 30 days (Not being able to facebook stalk your ex is good). 3. Reconnect with old friends - You know the ones you stopped talking to because you had a partner? 4. Don't drink! People will tell you to go out drinking and have fun, this is generally a great idea... Until you drunk dial your ex at 2am begging for them back. 5. Eat a little better, no more comfort food, you are not sad remember! Finally, with no promise this will work, if you follow my plan at least you'll look and feel better and your previous partner will have to deal with the fact you are better off without them.