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currently going threw the hardest time of my life; after a year & two months.. its over? im not giving up.
Let me give you the break down of me and my boyfriends relationship; We grew up next door to each other when we were younger, and then we both moved away to better neighborhoods, and didnt see each other for many years. One day I went into work and seen this guy I thought was very attractive. I didnt speak to him, until he finally said something to me. We went out on our first date & he asked me out and stayed together for a year and two months. Our relationships had its good & bad moments. We argued about the dumbest things EVER! I had an attitude problem & never watched what I said, but he also had the same problem. Even though we had our rough times, deep down we both knew that we were madly in love with each other & we made each other happy. We spent time together almost every single day of the week except for tuesday; Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday we worked together; and Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays (after work), and Sundays we were together. After we spent Christmas and New Years together, we hung out one time after that for only a short period of time.. And then that was the last I heard from him for a while. We got into a small argument about me 'calling and texting too much' so i figured if he wanted to talk to me, he would call or text me first. Didnt happen. Our conversations at work dwindled down to almost nothing besides a kiss goodbye :( This went on for almost two months. I didnt think he considered us together during those two months, and I thought he was talking to someone else. I started hanging out with my friends & family more often.. One tuesday at the beginning of this month he texted me and said 'Brooke I love you, but we need some time off' and I just said to him 'Tony even though weve had two months without hardly any conversation, it still hurts that you just told me that.. But just know im always going to love you no matter what.. And that was that. He 'heard' a few days later that I was at the movies with another guy.. And truthfully I was. But I was at the movies with a group of FRIENDS. Thats all he was to me, nothing more. To make the long story short; he basically figured i cheated on him and i didnt. Lately I havent been able to do much but cry, cry, & cry. I broke down at work infront of him which i know was a mistake but I couldnt help myself. I want to write him a letter and explain all my feelings that way he can never question the way I feel about him. And after I write the letter.. From then on im going to let him make the decision of what he wants to do. I wont text, call, or try to be the one to start conversation. Im trying my hardest not to let him know how bad this hurts. But I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. He is my first and only love and i believe that God will have him make the right choice.