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It's just not so easy to de-tach yourself...
It's not so easy to just look at things so black and white. I've been talking to a guy friend for over 5 years on the internet. Strong feelings and a strong connection have developed as far as I know on my end. This person has helped me cheer up out of a depression and I can honestly say I am in love with him. I have never smiled so much in my life as when I do when I talk to him, be it on here or the phone, some conversations lasting 8 hours at a time. We are very far apart. We laugh, and we have the best fun. I don't know if I am addicted to that fun or to feeling these emotions with someone. Now onto the frustrating part of it. He is quite far from me as I am from him. It gets harder to keep talking once your emotions get tangled up and they will when 2 people have such a great chemistry. It's only natural to want more, and I do, of course. There is much frustration to come out of an internet relationship not to mention losing grip on your own emotions. There are times we cannot talk to each other, and I feel depression setting back in. There are nights I wish I were with him, almost every night now. It's only natural to feel things so strongly when your heart is involved. It's just very rough telling your heart to stop wanting more when there isn't much of a chance of anything real to happen. It's very hard in fact, or I may just be an emotional person. Our schedules have changed now and we don't get a chance to talk much anymore. I feel very empty inside without the daily chat we would have together. At times I feel shaky and lost having not talked to him for more than a few days. I don't know how I got so deeply into this, but one has to question whether online relationships that develope into years are healthy or not. I guess the best advice is to never expect too much. Take things for what they are, which is much easier said than to swallow.
It Can Leave You Feeling Heartbroken
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