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How to get him back and keep him!
I have just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years - who dumped me by text with the words 'i don't love you any more' a few days ago. At first I was in bits. I couldn't stop crying and just kept messaging him asking him why and asking for another chance. This only made things much worse. Then I thought about the advice I'd give if it was a friend in my situation so here it goes:
1. Do not constantly contact him. That means calling him,talking over IM, messaging each other. Don't be tempted to write him a letter either as it will just be forcing communication that he just doesn't want. I know that doing these will make you feel better but they will only make him go further away.Wait for him to contact you!
2. When he does contact you keep chat to a minimum. Only talk with him for about five minutes tops as this will leave him hanging on and wanting more. If he asks you about yourself and what you have been up to then be brief and vague. Not knowing exactly what you are up to will drive him imagination wild! Also if you're speaking on the phone then smile while you are talking to him as this will make it sound like you are really happy. Whatever you do, do not mention the break up! He will be expecting you to ask lots of questions about why you are dumped, to beg him to take you back etc so if you don't do any of this it will take him by surprise. It will also panic him as he will be thinking that you are fine with splitting up, so he will want to get you back before it's too late. If he wants to talk about it just say something like 'oh that's a bit serious,lets just talk about that some other time'. Keep composed and calm at whatever costs. Even if you feel like crying act happy and cool with everything.
3. When you do finally meet up follow the same kind of rules from number 2. Smile lots, be vague about what you have been up to, don't talk about the break up. Also look hot. Get your hair and make up done but don't look too try hard. Wear something in his favourite colour or style but do not wear the outfit he liked best or that just screams out that you are dressing up just for him, and we need him to think that he is no longer important in your life. When you first see him lean and give him a friendly kiss on the cheek, and wear his favourite perfume on your neck. This smell will remind him of happy times and get him wanting you back. Keep the meeting to a minimum as you want to leave him wanting more. And remember the 4 c's - you need to be in control,confident, cool and composed. DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR GUY IN THIS MEETING! Many people think sleeping with an ex is an easy way to get them back. It is not in the long term. It will only make you look cheap and desperate. Men love best what they have to work for so do not just hand it to them on a plate! When you leave this meeting get up and say 'if you're not careful you will lose me forever' and then turn and walk away without even glancing back. Although he will be wondering at first why you said it, and thinks oh I don't care if I lose her forever that phrase will stick with him for the next few days and he will worry that he could lose you for good.
4.If you follow all of these tips then he will be eating out the palm of your hand and will want you back asap. Do not go back to your old habits though. You still gotta make him work for it. You still have to play hard to get and look hot all the time as this will make him see what he nearly lost for good. To have a good relationship you need to not give too much - us girls see it as nice, boys see it as controlling, and remember they like to have to work for something not just have it handed on a plate. Then you need to give him emotional space. Do not always be running to him with your problems. Whining and moaning is not attractive or sexy. I did this with my boyfriend and he just felt like my Dad in the end and like I was too reliant on him. Talk to friends and family instead and this will show that you don't rely on him for your happiness which will take a lot of pressure off him and your relationship. And finally have some space from each other. Do not see each other all of the time. Give some time and space for him to miss you, and then the time you do spend together will be quality! Do not just go back to your old ways though however tempting it might be or he will just dump you again.
Hope all of this helps - sorry its been a bit of an essay!
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