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she said she needs space
This isn't really a tip, this is a request to others out there on possible tips you might have for me about my situation. [RomanceClass: this part of the website is for giving tips. Why not cut/paste this question and send it to the question section at: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/advice.asp Thanks!] Here goes. I met this girl, this wonderful girl, and our relationship was literally a whirlwind relationship. We became 'official' very quickly, and just 2 to 3 weeks later had already told each other we love each other. Things continued to get even more serious - I began looking for jobs in her town, which is 6 hours away from where I live now. She mentioned to me that she wanted to have a family with me. It all seemed perfect, or as perfect as anything can get in this world. Then, a week ago Friday, we had an argument because I told her I had been waiting to totally be myself around her to make sure she wasn't going to take off on me first. What I said really hurt her feelings, and I realize now that the comment I made could have easily caused her to have doubts about me and question our love and relationship. But, by the end of that evening, it seemed like things were going ok, and I thought she would get over it. The next morning, I was shocked to read texts from her saying that we needed to take a break - 'not forever' in her words though - and said that she still loved me and hoped I did not hate her. I made the stupid mistake of driving 6 hours to see her, without telling her, so that we could hopefully talk it out. But I came to find out that that very same day that I drove up there, she'd already started talking to someone else. She told me she didn't start talking to anyone else until she told me she was done, and I really want to believe her when she says she did not talk to anyone new until she broke it off with me. But then again, how can you meet and get together with someone that fast, within the space of one day? So I'm confused, wondering if we broke up because of our argument or if we broke up because she wanted to talk to this other girl. Or if it was maybe a combintation of both. I should also mention that while we were together, I was probably overly nice to her, I did anything and everything I could think of for her. I did these things for her because I love her and care about her, and just wanted to make her happy. But I'm afraid now that she might have seen this excessive niceness as incredible insecurity and neediness. And we did have an argument, about a month into our relationship, and in this argument she mentioned how she was worried that I was trying to 'buy' her. One big problem though. She says she still loves me. And God knows I still love her. I'm 30 years old, and never in my life have a I loved someone enough to want to move away from my friends and family and everything I know for her. I've never lived with a girlfriend before, never even THOUGHT of living with a girlfriend before, but I was ready to move 6 hours away just to be closer to this woman so we'd have a better chance of working out. So, as I said, I'm still in love with her....and while we were together, she treated me better than anyone ever has and really showed me respect and caring. So I'm pretty sure that she does still love me like she says she does. But, she's talking to this other girl now, and I don't know what to do. I love her honestly, and I don't want to totally give up on her, but I don't want to try too hard either. Pretty much, I just want her back....but I want to ger her back because she WANTS to have me back. I want her to want me again the way she wanted me before. I just was too insecure around her when we were together, that's one thing I know would have to change. I am starting to date new people, and trying to move on with my life as much as possible. But I'm still in love with her, I want her back, I want her to realize what she pushed away when she broke up with me, I want her to miss me....I want her to want me back the way I want her back. I really feel like this woman is the love of my life, and I can't imagine the rest of my life without her in it. Any help? Please, any help would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully the fact that I'm gay and talking about a woman won't be something that pushes all of you away and causes you to refuse helping me....love is love, regardless of what form it comes in. My love for her is just as real as the love you all have for your girlfriends or boyfriends. So, please HELP!! I would really value any advice that any of you have to give. Thank you!!!! A.R.