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I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. He is from another country and we knew from the start that we were going to end this relationship. I was kind of happy about that because he wasn't very nice to me. He was always looking at other girls in restaurants and on the streets, beeing flirty with them and extremely severe with me and the way I looked. After I learned he lied to me about something really personal for six months, I wanted to break up with him. But I couldn't. Then, he cheated on an contest and won thirth place I couldn't enjoy his prices with him because that's something I wouldn't do. I was wondering, if he is able to lie like this to the whole world, how can I possibly know he is not lying to me? I wanted to break up with him, but again...I couldn't. Now that he is gone, he wants to move here in my country and me to visit him there. I still have feelings for him, we've been through so much together, but I don't trust him anymore. In fact, I don't recognize the guy I used to love. I'm always angry at him but can't seem to imagine myself being alone (even if I'm already alone him being back to his homeland). He is my first boyfriend. As much as I want to stop hurting myself with him.....I think of him as the man of my life. This is ridiculous...I just think I love hurting myself.

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