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that lonely feeling
all i can say is that the breakup is the hardest thing of all. she broke up with me in the worst possible way, cheated on me, lied to me, and just about everything else. This happened a little over one month ago (May 3, 2007). I was and still am completely shattered. Shortly after the break up, she asked if we could be 'friends with benefits.' I was very reluctant about this, and continually asked her why she would want this if she broke up with me. She gave me no definitive answer. I went along with this for a while because i thought that maybe she just wanted a little time and space to figure things out, and that maybe she would want to come back to me later. Well, yesterday (June 11, 2007), she demoted me again to where she barely even wants to talk to me anymore. I just wish that i understood what she wants out of me, and why she plays these games with me. Then, today, she acts like she said none of the things that she said to me last night. So, confusion is overtaking me once again. I'm just so devastated, and i know that i should kick her to the curb, but something deep down inside of me is telling me that if i endure this for now, the rewards will be there at some point in the future, and the love will be stronger than any other. Maybe it is just foolish, optimistic hope? who knows, but i hope i find the answers soon.

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