Back in Time @ RomanceClass -
Emotionally unstable

this boyy and i started dating after months of my persistence. he didn't want any of me. nothing but friends. but i got to him, after homecomming he danced with me, we had a vice, an armoa. he wanted more. i never kiss untill 2 weeks+, the day he asked me out, the bonfire, the grass, him, the feeling, so perfect, i gave in. the next day, haloween, what a better time? candy, late. he had a friend; we went to his house.. he madeout with me. i'm not used to moving this fast, at all.

my relationships usually last a month, because i get so scared, and protective
he used to txt me all the time with a smile :) and ^^ <3, couldn't fall asleep unless i was on the phone. but after our 3 months.
things changed, and i can say because that was the day i started being someone eles other than myself. i lost iit and became emotionally unstable.

i lost his respect, and to somehow gain it. i degraded myself to head.
all the time. it felt like that was the only time he smiled. and i only wanted him happy. after i felt like he put NO effort, because realising he was going to college, we broke up together. it was my idea, i had two of my best friends with me; he didn't know at the time though.
i missed him the very next day. and the next. and the next. i'd fall asleep clutching his bear in love with our memories.

he knows i misses him, and he misses me.
after the 4th day, i pronounce" i was just looking for you.."
he passionately kisses me, and asks need i say more?
i say no.. but in a haze, i've forgotten of how i almost was stable without him again. we remain, and we are not counting our break up.
things were so good.. for a week or two. and then it began to reoccur with the whole indifference. i want him to talk to me, i feel like i'm always the one that i'ms, txts' calls, comments. and usually i dont even get anything back.
if i had the chance, i'd quit doing it. but it's almost if i'm addicted to his attention. he doesn't have time for me anymore so i loosened up my schedule just so when he had the chance. i'd be there.

i wanted to marry him, i'm not so sure anymore.
i thought we were a one. but now it feels like a spliting two,'
if i had the chance,
i'd look prettier for you, i'd treat you more nicely, i wouldn't lose myself in emotional rage. i wanted a family, i wanted to wake up to you everymorning of everyday. for the rest of my life. you were the perfect idea of my imaginary guy. but i feel as if your fading away. i'm so lost. and i don't want to talk about it any longer. but just remember, when your in college,

you with your future someone
i will always love you.

i only wish i could have done more.
i am no longer strong, i surrender to you.
my love.


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