Back in Time @ RomanceClass -|
If you in your heart know you deserve love, you will find it.
Is it possible to love someone and still be living with another women?
My boyfriend of the last 9 months claims to love me and says he lives with his last babies mom out of convience. Although he claims their not together, it disturbs me to know that he tells me he loves me, is intimate with me but also treats me terrible but thinks it's ok to still live with this other woman.
I loved him so I stayed by his side. Ditching guy friends I knew for years because he didn't want me talking to them. I would stay home to avoid conflict because he always assumed I was going to cheat.
He would dissapear for days or weeks without a returned phone call. He always had explanations but are they valid? He claims he was mad at me and didn't call me because he thought I was doing something behind his back.
He had this thing he called patterns. If I broke a pattern it was because I was doing something wrong.
He would only come see me once a week and would get mad when I told him I didn't think or feel we had a real relationship. Yes, he did call be but then if I didn't answer a phone call I was wrong. If he didn't answer his phone it was ok.
Yesterday, an ex was in town. I was curious to find closure with him so I agreed to meet him. I didn't answer my phone calls to avoid conflict.
My boyfriend broke up with me because he says I'm a bad person and don't deserve to be happy. Although my heart knows thats not true, his words replay in my head.
My moral is:
Don't settle for being a co-star in someone's life when you can be the main character in another individuals heart. I've waited around for months because he told me he loved me and I needed to be patient. I got accused for things I didn't do, told he was so busy he couldn't spend time with me or was so tired he couldn't call. Then in the end he says I wasted his time because I'm unfaithful, a bad person, and don't deserve to be loved. What was I waiting for? Why couldn't I see what other people saw? Why did I make him a priority when he didn't even place me in the top 10. So in the end I can only say, don't settle for something 2nd best. If you in your heart know you deserve love, you will find it. I felt more alone in a relationship than I feel single. He says I hurt him. But I don't think he realized how much he hurt me.
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