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People wonder why I never smile. I don't know how to tell them I'm in pain 24/7
Summer '04 really struck home with me. Our company hired a seasonal employee in the fall of '02 and I had the chance to meet her and work with her. I began to develop an interest in her but I played it cool because I didn't want to scare her away if the feeling wasn't mutual. She was beautiful, easy to talk to, and fun to be around. Each day I thought there was always tomorrow to keep trying to make her develop a mutual interest in me. Then six weeks later the company decided they were done with her before I was and terminated her employment. I have since been chasing after her trying to find her again. I used the Internet to find her contact information and sent her a card two weeks later letting her know how I really felt about her. I left her my physical and email address. Last year I called her twice and left her a voicemail stating my interest in seeing her again and wishing her a happy birthday. She has never returned any attempted contact. Since her contact information is unlisted, I felt guilty like I was breaking into her home or privacy each time I tried to contact her. I figured sending her mail or voicemail would make her more comfortable than if I call her in person without having gotten her permission to contact her while I was still with her. I am satisfied that I got my message across to her albeit too late. Now there's this deep dark emptiness of her absence and the joy she brought me. People wonder why I never smile. I don't know how to tell them I'm in pain 24/7. I don't want to forget her and let her go. I'd rather die young with my dream.
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