I'm Trying Not to Be Jealous
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I want to not be jealous anymore. My boyfriend never gives me any reason to be jealous or to fear that he will cheat on me. He tells me that I'm all that he looks for and wants, and he tells me I'm beautiful but I still am jealous of other girls. They can be strangers, girls that aren't even his friends, but friends of his friends that are hanging out around him, or my own friends, I will become very jealous. This is breaking up our relationship...my jealousy and complaining over everything I see that bothers me is the reason why we're on a break right now.
I know I shouldn't be jealous--I can't back up my jealousy with anything that he has done. Part of me feels that my jealousy is due to my past boyfriend. I was with him for a year and a half and in the beginning, I never once thought that he'd cheat on me. I never had a problem with him going out, I'd never worry. He had told me how much I meant to him and I believed it. But 3 months into our relationship, he cheated on me, and things went downhill..I broke up with him and I had found out from him that he had recently cheated on me again.
Fears of the past becoming the present cloud my mind. I trust my boyfriend, but I still get jealous. I got jealous over him letting a girlfriend of mine borrow something that he didn't let me borrow. I don't know what to do.
How Do I stop being so jealous when there really isn't any reason for me to be jealous???
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
hello, my name is b. I am currently going through the same problems. I am 24 and have had bad relations in the past. I get jealous over everything, and he does nothing for me to be jealous over. I monitor where he goes on the computer, his phone, i even hide the remote control from him because i am scared that he is like, going to watch a show with a hot girl and then think about her while she is with me. I am not sure what to do about it either. All the men in my life,including my uncle, father and friends have all shown me that men are dogs, so it is very hard for me to believe that he is not. We cannot go to a public place without me getting bad butterflies in my stomach and leaving, when he even glimpses at the wrong direction. Maybe we just need other friends who have the same problem and make them a little jealous,,,lol.. My situation is a little different because i have a child by my x who cheated on me. He is great to my son and still i don't trust him. Well i don't have an answer for your question b/c i have the same question but maybe we can help each other,,,,,if not good luck in the future. Yours truly b
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