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Love can be put off, never abandoned. --Propertius Sextus



How to get him back again



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
my ex-boyfriend and i have been broken up for a week but we spend so much time together outside of school. he told me that the only way he would like me again is if some epifamy happened to him. i have no idea what that means so if you do, being a guy, please help. but i like him so much and this break up is my fault and im trying to not be so mean to him. he knows i miss him but i dont know what to do without him. i miss him so much. he says he doesnt want to be with anyone right now, but how do i make him miss me? how do i get him to bring his guard down so he can trust me again? if you have something i can give him to read that would be the most helpful thing. but im so stuck i have no idea what to do anymore!
thanks so much




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
play it cool


You seem to that this is your fault. It sounds to me as if he has simply decided he doesn't want to be with you right now. I know it's tough to hear, but you will get futher by playing it cool and giving himsome space. He can't miss you if you're always still around...and he still gets to have you in his life, so he has no reason to get back together with you. I have been through a simular situation with my exfiance and by trying to be friends I drove him away. You can't be "just friends" with someone you love...he will eventually say something that hurts you and you will lose it or worse, believe his accusations. If you want him back, you have to let him go. It sucks, but it's the only way. If he comes back, then he will be there for you, and you will know he cares about you for who you are and not something that he will change his mind about the next day. And don't you really want that from a guy?

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