I wish I could have her again because I would be such a better boyfriend than G.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I went out with a girl (we will call her A) two years ago and I really loved her. Then we broke up but I realized that I still loved her. Before I could go back to her she went out with this guy (we will call him J) that everyone hated and no one knew why she liked him. But during that year she was best friends with this guy (we will call him G). They knew they had a thing for each other. G would always tell her how perfect she was and compliment her and be the nicest guy to her, especially when she was sad because J did something mean or something. Then J and her broke up. The next year me and A started talking again. We became best friends. Then she started going out with G. She really loves G. Like she is seriously IN LOVE with her. G is a jerk to her a lot and says some very mean stuff to her, sometimes in front of her, but A still loves him. So A talks to me about her problems with G. We talk on the phone every night for about 1-2 hours. I help her with her problems with G. I always do what G used to do a year ago and tell her how perfect she is and how beautiful she is. I have hinted about still loving her. I have been like, "You know I care about you so much A." Or something like that. My other friends have told her too, and they have even sent some of my AIM conversations that I have had with them to her. In them I express my feelings about her DEAPLY. But whenever someone does that, or I tell her that I care about her so much, she gets off topic or goes "I love G so much." I don't know what to do. She knows I love her. I wish I could have her again because I would be such a better boyfriend than G. Please help me! Is there any way I could get her back? Should i leave her alone and just stay best friends?
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Don't expect anything
No, she wont get tired of G. Girls are attracted to "jerks", and are turned off by "nice guys", and the guy who asked this question is the nice guy. By being nice, you are giving the girl all the power. Girls are attracted to self confedence, telling a girl that she is pretty, is smart, a good person, etc, is basically saying,"I dont think im good enough for you so im going to buy you gifts and shower you with complements in hopes you will like me." This may not logically make sense, but think about it, why does this girl you like go after the jerk, when you have been nice to her and have always been there for her? of course.
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