gets close to me when we talk, lots of eye contact, she'll find any excuse to touch me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I'll try to be short. I'm pretty sure this girl actually came onto me this one time but it was the first time we'd ever spoken properly and there's a three year age difference so I decided I'd be hasty. Since then I grew extremely fond of her but one time when she was drunk she told me she had a boyfriend (that I think she'd gotten since she came onto me) but she never mentioned him any other time. After that we started getting really close, we were flirting a lot but I never went too far since I always had this boyfriend thing at the back of my mind. She always gets close to me when we talk, lots of eye contact, she'll find any excuse to touch me, fish for compliments, or compliment me on how cute she thinks I am (right in front of me while talking to a friend on her phone she described me as "blonde hair, blue eyes..........cute face" and she then wanted to take a photo of me "to show her friend so she'd know who I was" and she then seem flattered when I took a photo of her). She always insists on hugging me when she leaves, even if there's loads of people there (and not just little hugs, she doesn't want to let go of me) and she rarely mentions her boyfriend although she did mention his name once or twice, but I didn't realise the guy was her boyfriend then. She gets jealous when I look at other girls when I'm with her (she grabs my attention back or generally doesn't look so happy).
Anyway, I now know for sure that she has a boyfriend but my only contact with her will be by text or phone if I want to. I won't see her for 3 months and I'm scared that she's gonna get close to this other guy cos I can't see her for all this time. Basically I want to let her know I like her, I'm thinking that she possibly doesn't know I like her. I never realised how much I liked her until I found it so hard to get over her, I'm letting her get under my skin and feeling physically sick. I know I can't tell her how I really feel cos she'd think I was a real wierdo.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
I wrote to her
Right, I got drunk and told her I like her. Sorry, it was before I got this info. It was nothing too harsh, I basically told her I didn't realise she had a boyfriend when I was getting to know her, I just hoped it would play on her mind. She got the message at night but didn't reply til the morning and by something she said I'm very sure she read the message then but took the time to wait until morning so she could put some thought into the reply. She said she thought we were just friends and then inquired about how I didn't know. I just now sent a reply stating that she never mentioned him to me (a sly little attempt to criticise the relationship).
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer