Talking about your feelings
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Well there's this guy I like. He is a senior
in highschool. I'm an 8th grader in middle school. We're both in marching band. My friends keep telling me that he likes me.
I think he liked me before, because he would occasionally look at me. When he looked at me he looked into my eyes
and we just stared into each others eyes for a few minutes. Then were getting ready for this band competition.
Each band member had to partner up and give a band member a massage to relax them for the competition. I went over behind my friend
and he approached me and started giving me a massage. He would occasionally giggle or laugh a little. Then I told my
friend that I had a HUGE crush on him. She told other friends. Then they all came up to me and tried to talk to him. One
of my friends said,"Awww! You gave her a hug!" (He gave me 2 hugs before that happened), and then he said,"Yeah I know."
He smiled when he said that. Then my friends without telling me called him about 5 times at home. Then they called his cell phone
1 time. Everytime I saw him he would just give me a mean look and walk away. He practically avoided me. I didn't know what was
going on. Then he and couple of his friends went out to eat. One of the people there was a good friend of mine. So she heard the whole
thing. They just talked with him for a while. Then she said she had to go to the store to get something. Then he said,"Hey, can you
get some stuff for us? We're gonna put something in her flute case. That's what she gets for stalking me." My friends were gonna give
him something I made for him. He walked toward them, but one of the other band members yelled,"GO ____ GO!" He walked away to
hang out with his ex girlfriend. Then he came to the band halloween party. With a girlfriend! She was one of my friends that tried to
cheer me up when he said that stuff. She told me "Don't worry. Guys are just jerks" Well, how does she explain going out with my
crush? Well, they sitting on the couch together. I sat a couple of feet away from them watching a movie. Then he kept looking at me
for like a few seconds. Then it was like this for another few weeks. Then I text messaged him on his cell phone saying,"I'm sorry about
everything. Do you want to start over?". He texted back and said,"K". Then he we had conversations almost everyday. He would say
Good night to me each night I talked to him. Then we started talking back again on AOL. He would always put "Haha. cool." Everytime
I sent him something. Then his girlfriend broke up with him. He walked past me when I went to go get my brother out of jazz band. He
had his head down as he walked past me. It made me feel bad. Then I texted him again saying,"Hey, I'm really sorry. I hope you feel better
soon." "If it counts, I think you're a sweet, cool and an awesome guy." Then he talked to me a few days later and said,"Hey, yeah me and
my girlfriend broke up that day." I told him I was upset about my cat, because she was sick too and he said,"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope
she feels better." So we talked. Then we talked about this video game and stuff we had in common. I saw him at band concerts too. He
would look at me for like a second though. I think he was looking at me atleast, because there's this girl that likes him too sitting infront of me.
I gave him a christmas card at the band christmas party. He said,"Thanks." Then he walked over with his friend in a corner of the room. They talked.
Then his friend came over and gave me a hug saying,"Thank you for the card."I was shocked, because he never acts like I'm there usually. Then I sat
down and ____ walked behind me. Looking at me, but looking at the floor too. It could've been me and it could've been that other girl. Then I gathered
up enough courage to give him the song I wrote for him, and a sketched picture of him that I sketched myself. My brother had to give it to him, because
I don't go to the same school. He said,"Aww, Thanks." when my brother gave it to him. It was only 3 days ago and he hasn't said anything to me since.
1. Does he like me? How much?
2. Will he ask me out? If so, when?
3. Was he looking at me or that girl? Is he just being shy?
Can you please give me some advice on how to handle this situation? Thanks! I'm sorry about the length of this question..I just wanted to provide enough for you guys to find out if he likes me or not..
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
I think he likes you, but he may get utterly distracted by other girls. In addition, I think he's just too shy to ask you out because he may think the age difference could be a problem and scare you, him, and other people around. Therefore, I don't think he'll be asking you out anytime soon even if he does like you. In my opinion, I suggest you do the asking of asking him out instead.
Don't get freaky to hear my story in relation, but I'm a 12th grader currently "seeing" an 8th grade girl. Don't get me wrong but we didn't know each other's age until 3 months after we 1st met. In the meantime, we were just friends. About a year later, suddenly she instant messaged me saying she likes me. In response, I said that I like her too. It turns out she was kidding. But then she ask me was it truth I liked her for a year, I said "Yeah...". Therefore, she revealed that she really does like me too. The next day, she even broke up with her current boyfriend just so she can be with me. That was the happiest day of my life.
Presently, she's my 1st and only girlfriend. If she didn't started, I would still be single and sorrow. Because I'm 1 of those very shy people, I would have never consider myself telling her that I like her. I would have waited at least 4 years until I actually try to give her hints of my feelings toward her. I'm a very decent and clean person, therefore she trusts me. I would say people would judge us due to our age difference, therefore we actually kept this a secret from everyone else.
I've to say situations like this are rare, but you never know if it's a good thing unless you try. Maybe that guy's like me, fear of approaching a "young" girl with emotions. Therefore we might just forget or postpone our plan of asking girls out. You can go be one asking him out instead, wish you the best of luck in trying.
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